26 May 2006

Job Offers

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
--Abe Lincoln


You can use me as a reference

Having worked at the Burlington Coat Factory for yon three months now, I must say it has been an overall good experience. I get to deal with a lot of weirdos, chumps and freaks. Freaks? I've had my fair share of what have yous in the business and I've been cranky the past couple of days because people think we're idiots and we're mostly not.

But, in all this craziness, I have been told several times by customers that I should get a raise, complimented on my speaking voice and I've even been offered at least two jobs. One lady gave me her business card and told me to call her so I could work in her office. A couple of days ago, one lady said I should go to Alaska and work for Cruise West. She even said I could use her as a reference [Matt Perry's mom I'll have you know]. There are even days where I consider becoming a radio personality. Might as well, 'twould be better than working for BYU [of course, that doesn't take much]. Maybe I should seriously consider some of these options. We'll see.

And, I hate my internet.

24 May 2006

Grandma 'fros

"Your knickers are falling down granny."
--Kersina Miller


They come in blue and purple!!

If you take notice long enough, you'll find these nice old ladies with the greatest afros you could ever imagine. I, working at a cheaper priced department store, get to see all kinds of stuff. This will include the dirtiest mullets you've ever seen, bullets [what I consider a cross between a bowl cut and a mullet], SeƱor Cardgage comb-overs and my personal favorite, grandmas with purple afros.

There are these old ladies with this amazing hair. This impressive mass of hair on average sticking out at least 3 inches from the scalp. Most common colors are gray, blue and purple. I'm not allowed to have such hair, but the grandmas can pull it off. How is this possible? I don't know, but I do think it's still pretty cool.

When I'm old, I'm shaving my head. That's it.

21 May 2006

possible routine

"License never replace eyes, ears or brain."
--Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid


get things done in your hometown

Now, it may be possible that you're from a small town. I'm from a small-ish town. Every place is different, we know that. Then we have towns that every makes fun of. My cousins do happen to be from Kenilworth, UT. Ever hear of it? Not many people have. It has the population of sagebrush and garbage dump. It's about three miles east of Helper. Like that helps much.

But the thing is that often times, some things need to get fixed in a town. Maybe there's a building that needs to get torn down and replaced. Or there's a sign that's all kinds of ghetto. I don't know, something that when you see it, you get the shivers. Think the following. Try it, I dare you. Sometimes, things just need to get fixed though they've probably been ignored for the past several days, months and/or years. Hello, Miller apartments. And sometimes the only way or time that things might get fixed, is when said thing is in absolute disarray or destroyed.

My point is thus: If you want things to fixed, you might have to cause some ruckus and get things destroyed. Or at least cause some decent amount of damage. When you do that, you're bound to attract attention to what needs to be fixed. I've done this before though, not intentionally for fixing up Kenilworth.

Here are the examples:

There's my cousin B-Joe who had decided to sit himself on top the Kenilworth sign as you head into said municipal. Nothing wrong with that of course. It's not too hard to get up there. While upon said municipal sign cousin Jeremy [driving his illustrious 'I am from the middle of butt-nowhere' truck] proceeds to drive into the sign while his little brother was still atop. B-Joe didn't fall and no one was hurt, but the sign was definitly off center. I come back the next day, and the sign is gone. We all know why. I come back next year and they have a new sign up. 'Bout time.

Example #2: In the said same municipal of Kenilworth, the boys and I causing a little bit of ruckus. We were doing something called the "Floating Newspaper Trick" which consists of a newspaper, some thread and two reflector posts on either side of the road. Cars stop and people check it out. We few trouble-makers are either hiding in a nearby tree [Mikey and I] or in some sagebrush [Andy and B-Joe]. This is all good fun, correct? Correct. Now, there came a point where I had to use some indoor plumbing. I also pick up cousin Bubba [not his real name but we call him that anyway]. Upon our return to the place of wreaking small amounts of trouble we get word from their neighbors that a car went into the ditch. We panic, of course. Apparantly, some grandma-type lady had stopped, observed the newspaper in front of her never exiting the car, backed up and tried to go around. This wouldn't be so bad but the fact that there was a ditch on both sides of the road at that point, grandma fell in. She couldn't get out of the car. Peoples came up and helped her out. A cop showed up. Andy and B-Joe came off from the side claiming to be looking for a black labrador. Bubba gives the old lady a hug. We go home as all the neighbors are trying trying to get the car up and out. So, we're in the house talking and what have you about the incidents of the day and/or night when we realize we haven't seen hide nor hair of Mikey. We don't worry or look for him, just wonder where the blazes he is at the time. About an hour or two later he shows up and we inquire of his whereabouts. Turns out he was still in the tree above the grandma lady the entire time. At least three hours. Poor sap. Good times. I come back a year or two later and notice that the ditches on the sides of the road had been filled during my absence. So, in essence, we've done a lot of good for the town.

The point is, if something needs to get done, do a little destruction. You'll be amazed at what that does. Sidenote: I don't ever plan on doing these things again.

11 May 2006

Bonus Mosh pt. II

"I love my Grandma, she's very...mean!"
--BJC


I'm bound to come around about

10 May 2006

Ground Control to Major Tom

"I never said most of the things I said."
--Yogi Berra


Space Oddity

I am Apollo 13. B is Apollo 12. J is the Challenger. P never left space camp. Person Q offered P and I food out of the blue. We think because she got stuck with dork D. I am also glad to know that person M is in ward F with us whose roommate C is dating person N who gives me the willies X. Plus, person C use the term "little brown seed" during act T. We almost peed pants Y because of said "little brown seed". We thought it that funny. Then there was person E who apparently can't tell the difference between ethnicities W and H. How? I think I found place G to live in during semester K. Good times.

04 May 2006

Online Again!!

"I give you credit as an 'I have balls' moment"
--Peter Decker


Bookshelf=Desk

Well, well, I am online again!! I am in my new place finally. Moved in on Monday. Got everything I needed [still missing two of my towels though]. I can dig the joint. The set up is pretty sweet though I don't many people outside of my apartment as of yet. Oh well. But I am blasting all the 80's and Disney music I have including such hits as "Kiss the Girl" and "She Blinded Me With Science". Got the Jolly Roger and the Yoda poster up. Things will be quite cozy once everything gets off the floor and organized. That'll happen soon enough. Things are much different but also much needed. This was a good move.

Dinner

So, Tuesday night rolls around. I get off at work. I had the closing shift, with which I dealt with no back-up cashiers and some wierdos. Other than that not bad. I'm driving home and it's kind of late and I'm hungry. I didn't feel like cooking so I decided to go through the drive-through at the KFC. I get the food in a semi-orderly manner and drive home, all is normal. Halfway through my meal I take a look at the bag and notice something rather bizarre. In neat penmanship is written, "Kayla [phone number] call me". I was taken aback but laughed aloud. This has never happened to me before. I scored a girls number at a KFC drive-through. I could be that cool. So I gave a call later that night. Good chat. We shared a few laughs. Man, that was rad.