Mostly whack theories

2010-04-25T17:00:00.001-06:00

"You're shooting Epsilons out of your butt"
--Krys

Trying somenthing

totally getting hitched!!

2008-01-02T21:44:00.001-07:00

""
--

Just to let everyone know, I am getting hitched. Proposed very early am on December 15th. the date is May 9th in St. Louis. We're both excited. Anyways, this blog will pretty much be obsolete. But there is a light at the tunnel. Any new posts will be done at Felipe and Krys. There should be pictures and stories and what have you. So if you are linked to this website, delete it and put in the new one. That will be your mission. And to all a goodnight!

2007-12-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

"I will."
--.....

I did it. technically on my sisters birthday.

I go this stuck in my head

2007-11-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

"It's log
it's log
it's big, it's heavy, it's WOOD!!"
--

these are spirit fingers!!

2007-11-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

"Can I have a death mint?"
--Ben C.

tempting

Is it weird that I am now tempted to shave my fingers? The thought kind of gives me the willies and yet, it also intrigues me. Do I put shaving cream and use a disposable razor? Or do I treat it like my face and use the electric shaver? I don't know. Also, I am not shaving my legs nor my army bunkers [arm pits if you couldn't tell]. At least I look sexy with a goatee.

He's Alive

2007-11-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

"Aw cute, you have claws."
--Emily L.

Life is good

Well, this picture was taken last night. And basically, last nights picture taking was barrels of fun. this is one of Krys' favorites of me. I'm all hot [or sexy] when I'm all serious-like. Yeah, I'm a good looking man. So, if you were wondering if I was dead, that rumor was mostly false. I'm all kinds of busy with work and school and girlfriend [aka Krys]. Sadly enough I don't write as much as I used to but I try to keep up with the important stuff with the moleskine. But I will have you know, all is good. I'm enjoying life a lot.

last crusade

2007-05-01T19:34:00.000-06:00

"I don't need the chain, just the chomp"
--one emily

bless that jones

A decision has been made. Also, the timing is something else. I am completely scared out of my mind. There is so much that I fear. I gots to build my faith.

Also I consider myself a product of the American Dream.

Beard of Celibacy

2007-04-21T11:01:00.000-06:00

"You're shooting epsilons out of your butt!!"
--Krys

When will you celebrate Christmas?

No really, these titles do make sense. There are definitely stories behind these. I'll tell you when you're older. Basically for those of you who only know me through the blog this post is to let you know that all is good. I don't get out much but don't you worry, you all know why.

Things to do:

figure out school options and why the bayou is treating me the way it is
move into a new place
look into new employment opportunities
grow my beard of celibacy until mid-May then mid-June
go to St. Louis, MO
go home to LG, Ore.
love life

a civilization...

2007-02-17T02:31:00.000-07:00

"You and I are not so different."
--Green Goblin

...comes to an end

I think this is the end of the blog. there have been many things that I've enjoyed sharing upon the world wide web. the desire to blog has somehow recently lost its appeal. though, even now there is a thing or two that might be of humorous nature. however, I think I'm done. if not forever, it will probably be awhile. sorry for the phase out, really I am. you can still try to convince me otherwise every now and again. know that you are all great. thanks.

A Brand New Season

2007-02-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

"I'll sing you something you won't forget,
For the first time I know, this is who I am"
--The Academy Is...

Isn't it about time?

The family: I need one. About right now. It is about time.

I whole heartedly give you my thumbs up

2007-01-30T17:35:00.000-07:00

"Can you believe this? Would you look at that? Just call me "Mr. Butterfingers." I think it's on the floor somewhere. Is my face red. "
--Joe Early, UHF

Along with whatever heart is found in my thumb

This is awards show/post/blog/postblog/blag-o-blag/blogosphere. These are the favorites of the year 2006. All you need to do is to save the image in your "My Pictures" folder, print it out, make it 3-D and then throw some sort of smash party. Why? Because you all think I'm great.

So here we go:

Original idea because this man saw that we all need to be awarded somehow and who wouldn't want to follow/wallow in his footsteps. Wugs

Best retelling of an event that which spun out of control that was quickly surpressed by genius ideas and some really weird fanatics which in turn forced me to perform a phone call hence starting asking I how ask for people. J'no

This one is for an excellent 80's reference. I mean, who doesn't love Double Dare?

Best way to destroy someone's dreams. I will never do anything remotely ambitious anymore.

I just approve. Nothing more.

This should definitely be put on some sort of test. I approve for the suspense and reference to a running joke. Top shelf indeed

Blogging 101 award will go to the best introduction known man and probably several other species.

I almost peed my pants several times from reading comments by this person. And that certainly deserves recognition.

This one goes to the person who has lost most decency [and gave us a clear shot] but we still think she's great.

Of course there are more awards to give out. You all know you are great and that I enjoy your company dearly [even if we've only met vaguely once]. Actually this post is so that you make a plaster bust of me from the jpg on this post. I have no idea how you'll do it. But I trust you. Congratulations everyone! Keep up the good work.

If you have any decency whatsoever

2007-01-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

"It may disturb you. It scares the willies out of me."
--Slartisbartfast

Please skip the following

Just letting all of you know that the BCF sells man-thongs. Some of which are the tear away kind too!

I'll just let you guys mull over that one for awhile.

Who wants to get hosed?

2007-01-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

"After this storm, we'll be in a new ice age"
--Dennis "Freaking" Quaid, Day After Tomorrow

Oh look! What a surprise!

Well first of all, minus ten points for me for watching "Day After Tomorrow" on a Saturday night. As with any movie of this nature, it makes one think. Those in charge of said movie would have preferred that I thought about how I could be more environmentally aware and take steps to save nature [This is the part where I lift my shirt, pick at my belly button lint and spit some sort of loogie concoction off to the side]. I did however start thinking about cities in the movie-making business. The question is: What are the cities most often hosed in movies? I've got four big ones right off. New York City, Los Angeles, D.C. and Chicago. Why? It might be because they might be the largest and most important metropolitan areas that the U.S. has to offer. Think of any disaster movie and those four are probably most hounded upon by the forces of nature, comic book villains, Hillary Clinton, terrorists, corruption and let us not forget, aliens. Sweet!

Now, there are other cities that get their worlds rocked. I mean, who's not down with trashing the entirety of Florida. The bay area of California gets in on the action every now and again. The midwest has had a highlight or two *cough Twister*. But apparently I haven't heard much about the destruction of the Northwest namely Seattle and Portland. Why would that be? Oh yeah, there's nothing exciting about knocking off a bunch of liberalist hippies. They probably wouldn't notice due to the large percentage of weed still permeating the area. Okay so there might be a few riots here and there but, they'd probably be about saving the beached whales project or something useless like that.

We could even go across the world to see what other cities get destroyed in movies. No, let's go by countries instead. Japan gets hit a lot but does anyone care [i.e. Godzilla]? I think in the movie making business, we're more about trashing our own lands for entertainment. I guess there's some sort of appeal to it. Oh well....

PS- Oregon ended up dynamiting that beached whale.

I don't know why I haven't done this before

2007-01-15T23:54:00.000-07:00

"La tuya!!"
--Carlos A.

let me introduce you to [insert noun]

You know how people have birthmarks? Yeah, I've got one. It's a mole on my left shin. It happens to be about a half inch long and a third inch wide oval type shape. I love my mole. I remember pictures of it [not specifically to portray said mole in all its glory but only me as a whole] from years ago. yeah, it's cool.

Anyways, as its presence has been made known I've come to realize that I have yet to name it. Of course it needs a name now due to the fact that it just laser beamed one of my good friends who at the time tried pulling my leg hairs with her toes [where on earth would she get an idea like that, I certainly wouldn't know *cough*]. I mean, you can't get laser beamed by something that doesn't have a name. It's just not right. Although that most things that do laser beaming are of electronic/mechanic nature even with the existence of Superman pending. This thing of a mole has got some attitude/class/issues and what have you. It can't be ignored anymore. Something will happen. Believe you me, we've had some chats. As of right now, the name is Robert De Niro. Though a good name and a good actor, I'm sure I'm messing with some copyright issues, I think that my mole needs a name. And this is how it will work:

So, I am having a contest. Or something. I would just like suggestions of names for my mole. I guess whoever comes up with the name that I decide said mole should be called will be rewarded. I don't know how or when, but we'll think of something. Remember, it's watching you.

--Side note: Once this mole has a name, it will challenge any plaster bust of Burt Reynolds to a battle of wits. It'll be the best show on earth!

Pirate or Hobo?

2007-01-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

"I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul"
--Pirates who don't do anything, Veggie Tales

Which would you rather be

So, it takes about a week of not shaving for me to have enough facial hair so that I start looking like a hobo. Even more so if I don't shower or wash my clothes. But the beard-ish thing that I get going on makes me feel really dirty sometimes. Then I got to thinking, pirates had pretty gross beards too! That's exciting!! Hobos are almost like pirates in the beard sense.

Then I got to thinking what are the cool points of being either a hobo or a pirate. Hobos are homeless, excellent at being creepy, got mad scavenging skills, can do a makeshift home in less than twenty minutes, have stomachs made of awesome metals like iron or californium, great drug users, incredible tool makers and have an inate sense of direction.

Pirates on the other hand are seaworthy, skilled in cutlass, guns, compass handling, excellent Zelda gamers, mostly he-man woman haters, have cool pirate jargon [like "aye" or "arrgghhhh!!"], well versed in thievery and scandal, awesome use of missing appendages and they have an endless supply of rum.

All in all I think pirates are cooler but I have been on this hobo kick. As we all know, there are pirates and hobos with the collective IQ of a Nine Inch Nails poster. But they both have amazing potential. Huge money is to be made in entertainment alone. Especially if you can grow a beard. Here's to your facial hair!!

My Mom

2007-01-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

"Your mom!"
--Ben, to his mom

"Your Mom!!"
--Ben's Mom to Ben in retort

Scores One Billion Points

First of all, about two weeks ago I had to give my mom a yellow card. Just because she told a joke that was slovenly in nature. I never imagined her to say such a joke. However it was quite humorous. Also, she heard the joke from her mother [I truly believe that grandmas are allowed to say whatever they want]. So, in essence, I just carded two generations of my family at once. But I am truly happy that mom realizes that I might enjoy the joke despite its nature. Yay!! I'm very much like my mother!!

Number two: I recently changed my voicemail message. I now say 'You have reached Felipe Sanchez, however I am unavailable at the moment. So, if you wouldn't mind leaving me a message to the tune of any 80's rock song, that would be much appreciated. Thanks'. So, last night I see that I have a voicemail. I check and it's from home. So I check it out. It's mom and I quote 'Wild Thing!! You make my heart sing!! Just calling to say I love you'. No offense anyone, but I got the coolest mom ever!

Taking Back January

2007-01-02T23:45:00.000-07:00

"I'm under the assumption that I'm gonna be the one that's leaving you"
--I Am Fred Astaire, Taking Back Sunday

One Eighty by Winter

This time, January is going to listen to me. In January's past, I've let things take control of me. Unable to make things happen, do things my way. Always reacting, always at the mercy of someone or something else. Always complacent.

Not this time. This time I'm making something happen. This January, this year I'm making decisions. I will take control of my actions. I will provide. None of this "I'll just let life pass me by" crap. This is me taking January by the shirt collar and telling it in the face "I AM HERE TO STAY!" I'll even collect some toadies. Freckled ones with bright red hair! I will rule this month. HA!!

Now what to do with my four day weekend.....

00 status

2006-12-31T20:09:00.000-07:00

"I'm sorry I'm not sorry"
--James Bond, Casino Royale

M kind of sent me

I viewed Casino Royale this past week and it was pretty much awesome-core. Then I came across this train of thought and if you don't want vague spoilers don't read the next paragraph.

So Bond has a basic mission to stop terrorism really. And to do that he has several smaller type missions. Basically we've going after the following: some bomb maker dude, then a middle type man on some other continent, after which leads you to a terrorist banker who needs money, hence a poker game at the ritziest place ever and then you find yourself chasing after $150 million.

You can read now.

The connection is that as people we've got specific things and goals to do and go after. We've got the basic idea of what the end of the means is supposed to be but the job is never actually done. One thing leads to another. Clues are left behind. Targets change. Allies change. Allies may or may not exist even. Life is just something that happens whether you like it or not. And we have to deal with it. It's not the job that's important. It's something else... For everyone it's different. But something has to be done. Our job is never done. We've all got things to do. Make the best of it. You know how it goes. Time to start things from scratch now.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

New Mix

2006-12-27T19:16:00.000-07:00

"I don't care if Monday's blue..."
--Friday I'm in Love, The Cure

guess what the requirement is

This mix will only include bands that have [or hopefully still do] had awesome rocker hair! You get the idea. This will be a rad mix

Lemme 'splain

2006-12-26T20:05:00.000-07:00

"No, we're talking about Really cool brain surgery."
--Dr. House

No, is too much, lemme sum up

Ah, the year of 2006. Well, this year has had some good times and some, well you have two guesses. So let me go over a list of this years best:

Spiritual:

Dad in Heaven
The Lord Himself
Scriptures
prayer
church
tough lessons taught
Got a lot of help from above this year
Mom and Dad
all my family

Multimedia:
PC Slimfast
Speakers
internet capabilities
gmail insta-chat

Movies:

Disney Robin Hood
Flight of the Navigator
Fern Gully
Goonies

Music:

Hellogoodbye
The Academy Is...
The Cure
Matisyahu
theme songs galore
80's rock

yeah, this year has been something else. Merry Christmas, Boxing Day, New Years, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah. I've got a resolution to be a better all around person, to be a person more educated about my actions, to avoid temptation, and to think things over before doing. We'll see.

C\:>Good_Luck.exe

Things to avoid these next couple of days

2006-12-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

"And someone else got hit by a cow."
--Kersina's claims

really

Yes, the Christmas season is in full swing with it's might hammer of glory and destruction. Tis the season for many things. Families are getting together, friends are going on a last hurrah from school. For retail corporate honchos life is beatiful as they're rolling in more benjamins than you shake a stick at. For those lowly retail peons, life is a freaking nightmare. Let's face it, we american christians go insane at this time of year. I am amazed what people are capable of when it comes to frantically looking for what they procastinated to get earlier. The day after requires more audacity than you can imagine to at least survive. Returns, sales, traffic and all the crazies elbowing you in the face. It's a scary day.

However, I can not underestimate the power of family and tradition. People have the power to make this Christmas day perfect for those around them. A calm day. A day to focus on the most important things in life. It's a good day.

I myself due to circumstances will not be traveling much this year. However, I will make the best of where I'm at. I am going to take time to consider the miracles and blessings of the birth, life and death of our Lord. I'm hoping this might make me a better person. Each moment I have can be something special. I'm doing what I can.

actual list

Okay, so now I'm actually letting you know what to avoid from now until probably the fourth of January, ahem:

Wal-Mart
University Parkway near State St.
University Mall
the BCF [I will love you forever on this one]
Deer running across the street while you're driving near home
Most large animals at that
Most if not all Greek and Roman gods
Ice swimming
ATM machines
Theft
Pandora's Box
A plaster bust of Burt Reynolds

Idea Man

2006-12-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

"I just bit your finger of love......awkward!"
--Teenie

Not always a genius

I think I've finally discovered it. I'm an idea man. I work so much better with ideas and theories than anything else really. I am excellent at creating all kinds of elaborate plans [granted, mostly about girls] and they're all amazing. However, when it comes to practice, my plans never work as well as I hype them up to be. You can ask a lot of people I know, I've had quite a few ideas. There are these date ideas, "get to know you" ideas, this girl totally wanting my bacon forever ideas and so forth. You get the idea. Then we get into how I am going to bring these ideas to pass. Turns out most of these should never happen. Because when they do happen, people freak out, other things that I did not plan happen, everyone feels awkward and then we all recluse doing other things. Weird....

I've realized that my ideas have had their consequences as does everyone else's. Not all ideas are bad. Not all are good either. Good or bad, either one will work depending who you are idea-ing about. Some ideas have been proven to work for many people. One such idea is [as it was put last night and hence will become a favorite phrase] whoring out cookies. There are a lot of guys who like baked products and girls will provide [don't ask me why I like this sentence]. So basically, ideas can lead you places that you may or may not want to go in the end. These ideas could lead you to a Manatee Thriller Make-out or maybe the near complete destruction of your soul. Heck, some ideas have gotten peoples married. None of this has worked for me very long so far.

Also, I often times I come up with ideas due to conversations that I've had with people. Other times, people will just tell me what I should do [hint, hint, Eileen!]. My ideas will vary upon who I am in most contact with, how I'm feeling, your mom, etc. Then I'll get on these kicks and there's no stopping me. Yeah, it's weird. These kicks will lead me to a lot of thinking. Many times I just play around with the idea and do nothing. But there are times when I've done something i.e. a letter to Sandra D., an art project, a dress up date, trips out of the state [I can guarantee pretty much at least one more] and the likes. I actually think, that I don't do anything anymore with at least one or two ulterior motives. So, I guess buyer beware. Anyways...

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

Traffic School

2006-12-13T11:50:00.000-07:00

"And that's who we have driving on the roads."
--Officer Janda

Monday spent well

A week ago Monday I was unable attend the Home Evening for the week. I was required by law to be somewhere else attending Traffic School. Well, I got a speeding ticket and to take care of things so that my record would be clean, I went to said school.

I get to the courthouse with a few minutes to spare. I get a good seat near the front. I wasn't sure what to expect. The Officer got up said a few things in introduction. Turns out, traffic school was a lot of fun. He showed a few boring general slides of course. But then there were other slides and videos of some really humorous stuff. Mostly showing that people are capable of being idiots. A couple of Leno or Letterman videos. Also some game show videos where the contestants had the cumulative IQ of cement. Really, I was reminded about a lot of the laws and had a good time. That's something that doesn't really happen going to Home Evening. And I didn't even miss Home Evening. I'd rather go to traffic school. Not saying that I want to get more speeding tickets, but it was a lot better than the alternative.

Definition

2006-12-07T00:25:00.000-07:00

"You look less stoned than you did yesterday."
--Sarah

Linguistically

Phonetics and Phonology. Understanding how, when and why sounds are made and understood in a language really. Rules are developed and followed. Rules are played with and changed. Definitions and concepts of rules are pondered. Explanations are made. Somehow, individually, thinking, impossible, eh? One thing I've learned:

minimal pair
–noun Linguistics.
a pair of words, as pin and bin, or bet and bed, differing only by one sound in the same position in each word, esp. when such a pair is taken as evidence for the existence of a phonemic contrast between the two sounds.

[Origin: 2006]

Truly speaking, the troubles are found in timing and placement. I want to do case studies but I do not know the plausibilities of how to do such.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe

Other Combinations

2006-12-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

"If you can drive a Bentley, then drive a Bentley"
--Bro. Johnson

Conversion process

I traded 1210 for 182. This is equivalent to:
4550 Lincolns
910 Jeffersons
455 Roosevelts
91 Kennedys
45 Susan B. Anthonys and a Kennedy
45 Sacajeweas and two Washingtons
4 Hamiltons and 7 Washingtons
Not far off from Grant
2 Jacksons, a Lincoln and a Kennedy
22 Jeffersons, 1 Washington and 50 Lincolns
182 Washingtons
Millions of combinations
750 Lincolns, 160 Jeffersons and 300 Roosevelts for 182 Washingtons.
In other words, I've got laundry money.

Dear Santa Clause

2006-12-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

"That would be the easiest Christmas present ever!"
--Nicole

My Worldly Christmas List

As the years have gone by, my Christmas wish list has certainly been revamped. I find that there's not a whole lot that I really want. This is pretty much what I got: I need to find a subtle way to tell my parents that I want a printer/scanner/copier shin dig for my computer. I could certainly make use of that [Unlike Flippin who said "Screw the printer!"]. I also wouldn't mind a split payment to help purchase the entire Calvin and Hobbes Collection thing. If you didn't know already, the Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite comic ever. So, that would one of greatest things ever. I could always go for some more DVD's. I don't have an exact list of movies that I want, so you can surprise me.

On other thing I want would be to get out of town. At least for a day or two this season. I have one good idea. That would be my Christmas present to myself. I'd be really okay with that.

And....

another possible routine

2006-11-30T16:46:00.000-07:00

"Have you ever been demonically possessed?"
--A. Gaskill

tell me what you think

I'm still working on this even though it will probaly never happen [i.e. me be a comedian/funnyman]. However, I did enjoy playing around this idea for a stand up of some sorts.

ahem...

1. Let's take a brief look at some of the fast food commercials over the recent years/months. We got the McDonald's that generally advertises that it's open early [5am-ish], it's all over the breakfast and you get your morning coffee. Next is Burger King. The Burger King you often see the King and Mr. Angus. Following is Taco Bell. Advertises to the late nighter and I need remind you that the Chalupa or Gordita is Mexican. At least, not the Mexico I know. Wendy's. Another late nighter, this time 'till 1am. Carl's Jr. is also on this list with the chicken and the cow and some other weird stuff. And we will then finish with Arby's who finally did away with the oven mitt which will be discussed.

Now with those reminders let us imagine these commercial entities as people. Honest to goodness real people. What kind of people would they be?

Picture your McDonald's man. He would be your business man type dad. Up early, slightly uptight, on time and kind of snappy. You would see him with a never end cup of decaf [I mean come on, he's got to slow down]. And at the end of the night his eye is still twitching.

Wendy's? She'd be your college age sister who still lives at home. She's always out late. You know, the party type. Why doesn't she move out? I have no clue.

Carl's Jr? Ah, Carl. Junior to his close buddies. He's your freaking cool neighbor with the HUGE entertainment system. I mean, this thing is massive. He's great and fun but, if you spend too much time with the man you'll probably develop epillepsy.

Arby's? She's your hippie cousin named Freedom. Age 26. Just went through a mid-life crisis. Thrice. This week she's veagan.

Burger King is something else. He's your creepy Uncle Jerry. Though he's hilarious, he gives everyone the willies. Especially when you wake up at 6:57am with him in your face singing "You make me feel like a natural woman" while playing the spoons. Eh.....I'm going to take a shower.

Then we have the Taco Bell. He's your neighborhood ethnic kid. Raúl Constantino Hernández Fuentes. His mom is an illegal alien but he was born in Pocatello, ID. He's got an insane amount of mexican pride though he's never been there. Oh and he kind of speaks spanish. Um, not really.

Well, there's your outline. Maybe I shouldn't play around with these ideas. At least I had fun while it lasted. Thanks.

This Holiday Season

2006-11-29T12:16:00.000-07:00

"Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today!"
--Phil Conners, Groundhog Day

reminds me that January is coming

Yesterday I looked outside and saw that Utah Valley was in the midst of a snow storm. Immediately I got depressed. I am not a fan of winter. Everything becomes cold, dark and grey. November and December have always been decent to me but nowadays serve as a reminder. A reminder that January is soon to be here. January is waiting for me. Waiting to take every part of my life and make it miserable. It has for pretty much the last five years. Especially years three and five where I was left bitter, mean, nearly soul-less and without previous friends. Every year it's been starting earlier my fears. And Christmas break is always the calm before the storm. Christmas is the time where all my current fears find me and take me over. This usually leads to some sort of explosion in early/mid January where all I fear comes true.

As of right now I'm considering a few things. Like, whether if I want dig myself into a hole and a repeat. Or if I'm actually digging said hole if it exists. Do/Should I take that shovel? Will it be more like a spade? Can I enjoy myself? Will I be myself? Winter has something against me.

This needs to stop. Now.

practice

2006-11-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

"I'll ripple your mother's....."
--K. Stockton

we were sent there

First of all to Teenie: Wouldn't you like to know, HA!

Second: There was a call for soccer practice tonight. I'm all over anytime I can get to play. Since we haven't had a game for nearing two weeks, Jared called so we could touch the ball and kick it around some. I tell you it was nice to run and somewhat try to get into some sort of shape. Possibly a triangle. The meeting place was in the SFH just inside the track on one side. Some lady then walks up and informs us that soccer is not permissable at the desired premises. She may as well have told us not to breathe. Anyways we strike up a conversation trying to sucker her into letting us play. She suggests that we try the IPF down the way. We agree, take some orange cones and head over. Turns out the place is dark and very locked. Jared knows the code to get in the back way through the men's bathroom and we break in.

It's relatively dark inside but we make do. Playing some sort of keep away game and we work on moving the ball around. Not bad. We're checking the doors every now and again. At one time there shows up a security guard to look inside. We of course freak out and run off to a corner. We gather all of our stuff and split soon after. What a nice little rush. We almost forgot the cones. No one caught us. Take that security! Had some good laughs and we're pumped for Thursdays game.

Stories

2006-11-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

"We're going to buy his teeth at the store."
--Lily Smith, age 3

something, something.....

Well, not a whole lot to say so I'm just summing up a few stories. Ahem...

1. We now have cameras at work. So, I'm at the register kind of cleaning stuff up. I start talking to one female coworker who was passing by. Good chat, just kind of goofing off and passing time with conversation. The phone rings nearby. It's my supervisor telling me to stop hitting on the coworker. We all laugh. Later on I tell my supervisor that I scored the cowokers digits.

2. Thanksgiving was with Flippin' and his family. Lazy day and I enjoyed myself. More on this I won't tell.

3. Watched Tron on Thanksgiving Eve. All mirth and jollity. There were about four or five times I almost peed my pants. Maybe just a little.

4. Grandpa calls mom. Why? There's a message on his machine in chinese. Hence, he needed Sally's phone number who knows chinese to translate. He gets phone number and calls Sally. Turns out the message was in spanish and was a telemarketer of sorts. Well done Grandpa. You're amazing.

5. Maybe I'll have something more later. I might have an idea or two on posts. Sorry about the lameness this time around. So um, intake 7100 calories and drive home politically safe.

I'm all about the Laser Beams

2006-11-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

"If you're good, you might see a shooting star"
--???

conversation with customers

Imagine a mom, a dad and four kids. Imagine that four coats are being purchased. Imagine a child asks about the security sensors. And this is how it goes:

kid 1: So, what are these things?

mom: If you mess with those they might get ink everywhere.

me : actually, I think these ones shoot laser beams.

kids: wow!! Really?

mom: The man knows what he's talking about.

me : They do a lot of damage.

kid 2: Show us!!

me : I can't, the lasers would destroy things all over the place and I would lose my job.

mom: And we don't want him to blow a hole through the roof.

me : This is true.

kids: Okay.

That might have been the coolest thing ever today. +10 pts.

There are stories not told

2006-11-16T00:29:00.000-07:00

"You can flirt your way out of overdue fines at the library."
--Lorena Garcia

I needed this one, thanks chicken coop

hey flops! i talked with eileen tonight and it made me realize that i hadn't talked with you in awhile. hope you're doing well and not freezing too bad w/o your hair. i'll count my pennies and think of you.

Honesty is a blunt medicine

2006-11-15T18:32:00.000-07:00

"This ham spits in your general direction!"
--Tamsen

They're more like guidelines if we like you

We have rules. Rules of the land of rules of the common people. Some are written and some are not. How these rules apply to you varies on your attitude. Really, they do. Basically, the bigger [favorite explicit noun that would make your mother blush] you are, the more the rules apply to you. Also this applies to the fact if you're less willing to take responsibility, I will pound the rules into your soul. For me, there is no escaping in you're an *****.

Stories:
I deal with a lot of freaks when it comes to returns. Now, we could be real sticklers on it if we abided by it word for word. But we let the smaller things slide. Now, there was a lady who tried to return some stuff that was completely hosed and denied most if not all responsibility. We didn't return it. Of course she swore a cuss and caused a ruckus, hence we laid down the law. Word for word. Other people we'll just say "we usually don't do this but we'll take care of it". All because of their attitude. My manager has told me that she specifically denied returns solely on the attitude of a person. I can deal with that. Then we have people with legit reasons and deal with the details. After those people I thank the Lord for helping a decent person.

Then we have cops. Try arguing with cops. That will get you nowhere. Just let them do their thing if you get pulled over. They'll hint the easy way out and you're on your way. They'll lower the level of the citation or drop it mostly. Just take what you deserve. I'm sure it must be nice for them not deal with someone freaking out at them.

I guess the moral of this post is take some responsibility. There's nothing wrong dealing with not so lucky happenings in your life. Last time I checked, life wasn't fair. So why complain? Take a loss. Surprisingly enough, I'm content.

C:\>Good_Luck_

saying what's on my mind

2006-11-12T15:46:00.000-07:00

"Let me put down my bag of rats."
--Janitor dude, Scrubs

this happens more when we're friends

I'm a big fan of this: saying aloud the ideas you have at the moment. I happen to do this a lot. Especially if I know you well and I like you. For those of you who know me well, isn't it true that I am more blunt and slightly off color. I'll lose all fear of saying whatever comes to mind. I think life is a lot funnier that way. Of course this turns me into a level 7 jerkface for doing so. For example:

Wednesday at work there is the linens manager Sarah who is all kinds of rad and she comes in wearing a red v-neck shirt, a black skirt and red sequined shoes like unto Dorothy of Oz. I mean, she looked pretty happening. The next day she comes in and I see her with a different set of clothes on to which I immediately say, "You know, you looked a lot saucier yesterday!" She hated me for the rest of the day. But we still had some good laughs, mostly because she got real snappy at me. Still, everyone at work knows that I'll say whatever.

So, it pretty much comes down to this, if I don't really know you, I'll probably keep my mouth shut. If I know you, I'll end up saying some pretty weird crap. No offense, I really mean no harm. And if you say something kind of at the level of what I said to Sarah, I'll more than likely laugh. A lot.

Another thing I discovered is that you can say something really foul and have it not really go against you. All you need to do is this, hold your tongue. Then you make faces and say something along these lines, "ooh, I just thought of something completely horrible/foul/five your mom jokes". This will get the listening party really, really curious of what just went through your mind. They'll ask that you say what you thought. You refuse. They'll say "ah, come on!" and they push the matter a little bit. Then you tell. Then they'll cringe and shudder. But they won't blame you and everything is a lot funnier. Believe me, it works.

Population Growth: The Musical

2006-11-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

"Don't punish me to make Ben cool."
--Doug, the Doug

ask babytalk.com please

"See Our Breasts"
[sing to the tune of "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast]

See our breasts, see our breasts--
Everywhere, half-naked chests
While we nurse,
The prudish curse
And wish we'd button up our vests.
Sorry, folks, look away
If we're too décolleté,
But this is what boobs are made for,
Not those Wonderbras you're paid for.
We refuse to go feed
Hunched in bathroom stalls--indeed,
We're appalled that you would make such rude requests,
Would you agree to eat
Upon a toilet seat?
See our breasts, see our breasts, free our breasts!

My commentary

Well, first of all I work at the BCF where we have a department called Baby Depot. Hence, we have all kinds of baby paraphanelia including Babytalk magazine where I read said lyrics. Now, I'll give myself a chance to look through and read a few things from said Babytalk when I'm not busy at work. Let me be the first to tell you that I've learned many things about many things related to birth. Babytalk goes over a lot of stuff about parenting mostly focusing on motherhood. Also, it took me at least four tries to actually read through said musical number. I'm an XY, what do you expect at my age and situation?

Actual opinion on breast feeding: Natural, the baby has to be fed. I don't know the percentages but breast feeding is something that happens out there. True that I'm not all that comfortable with seeing it as a passerby [you know what I mean], but I realize that it is something immensely important to mother and child. I think it can be essential bonding time for mom and baby. I'm no parent and there are studies about this, I just think that one shouldn't meddle with the growth of a child unless your own. This is also a matter that parents should decide what's best for their offspring. I will discuss the matter with my wife when the time comes. Right now, I will deal with it and let the moms do their thing for the kid. I can do nothing more.

Family, isn't it about time?

official citizenship to Mexinadia

2006-11-05T19:04:00.000-07:00

"I never knew my heart existed outside make believe."
--I Saw It On Your Keyboard, Hellogoodbye

Apply Today!!

This is the basic design for a Mexinadian passport/citizenship card. This is what I did on Friday. I'm figuring out how to reproduce it in such a manner to give out to qualified applicants. Hopefully that won't take too long so you can get yours as soon as possible. I do have the application which you must paste and copy then email me when filled out.

application:

First name:

Last name:

Middle initial:

three favorite bands

favorite movie

someone famous who you apparently look like

a digital picture of yourself

a digital copy of your signature

a paragraph of why you think you deserve to be a citizen of Mexinadia

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That is all. Happy applying!

Tri-Annual Shaving Extravaganza!!

2006-11-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

"One heap of bald maggots plus another heap of bald maggots equals two heaps of bald maggots."
--Hungarian Tongue Twister

I've figured it out

This is how it goes: I've got my hair cutting down to a system. It has been known that when I get my hair cut, I shave it. No questions asked. It wasn't until this past week that these shavings happened at regular intervals. I do it every four months. Every March, July and November to be exact. And over the past year without fail, I've unwittingly proven this fact. Also, it seems that everyone else is getting used to this and hence, reactions are of the less shocked type [it also helps that I've been planning said haircut for a week and some now]. These two pictures show what kind of pile is created every time I shave said head. That's a lot of mass. However, I do not feel much different with less hair this time. I've done this many times before and generally my head feels off center. Maybe I'm used to this. I'm okay with this. Now I'm concerned, am I more obsessed about my hair than I originally thought? That's crappy. Anyway, I'm a big fan of systems so we'll see how long this one lasts.

Oh, and I didn't find that plaster bust of Burt Reynolds. Don't know if I'm happy or sad about that.

Chia pet

2006-10-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it's run over by a car, you don't want it."
--ALF

I need a flash

this is my halloween costume. brown clothes and green hair spray. supposedly I'm a chia pet and have no respect fo' grammer. however, I think this picture makes my hair look like a green flaming ball of pestilence [like the typhoid, or the cholera!]. or it could be on of the moons of saturn. maybe it has a plaster bust of burt reynolds.

Your head might explode

2006-10-26T18:42:00.000-06:00

"Have you ever got the finger of love before?"
--Krista

and I make invites

How many of you have spent a decent amount of time with me? You on my left, don't be so reluctant, hold your hand high!! That's right, you and I, we're amazing! Anyways, the thing is that I carry my own persona. I've got my own ideas, influences, social oddities and thus following. Many of my quirks are genetic. Mom told me that I'm stubborn just like my dad. She's right. But I love my family. I think we're great. Good times are always about when we all get together.

Yesterday I get a call from my Aunt Alicia. She's rad. Turns out she called to invite me to the annual pumpkin carving fest and gathering of Sanchez genetics. Let me give you an idea of what this is like: You take me, times forty, add outliers and integrate catholicism. It's beautiful. If you think I have dirty mexi-stache, you haven't seen nothing yet. I need to hang out with Uncle Anthony. Man, this is going to be a riot. Almost more Sanchez than I can handle. And I love it. And some people need to come. Meaning, some of you that I converse with every now and again should get to know me better and enjoy the most rockenous pumpkin shin-dig ever.

send lightning

2006-10-24T20:34:00.000-06:00

"And Likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two."
--Matthew 25:17 KJV

my way

1. And the comic told one of his pupils five dirty jokes, a second pupil two dirty jokes and the last one dirty joke according to their wit and then went about his business.
2. He that had five dirty jokes went about, listened and made up five more dirty jokes.
3. And likewise, he that had two did the same and made up two more unto himself.
4. But he that had one dirty joke, hid it underneath the sink in his bathroom.
5. After a few days the comic returned to his pupils in gathering of their practice of wits.
6. And so the one who had five dirty jokes and made up five more told them to the comic with much impetuosity and humor saying, what it is now my doge?
7. The comic said unto him, Well done you filthy scum you. You have used your wit in quite the manner and will end up with many shows.
8. He that had heard two dirty jokes said to the comic, I have taken your two and came up with two more with some twists and here you have it, blam blam!!
9. The comic said thus following, Well done you scurvy being, I do enjoy the blam of your twists and you will have spots on shows to come.
10. And he that had one and hid it in his bathroom said unto the comic, Here is the one I heard and hid, it's nice and shiny isn't it?
11. The comic said, What the crap?
12. And the pupil said, well, I was shameful.
13. Yeah you were.
14. The pupil then said, But I do have this shimmy. He then proceeded to shimmy away.
15. The comic replied, I will take my dirty joke back with a scowl, but I am impressed by thy shimmy. You shall use it to your benefit. Welcome aboard.
16. Whithersoever you go brother, my good use of your time and do something useful. Make thine neighbors laugh until all cheeks are thoroughly sore.

Little Ones

2006-10-22T17:29:00.000-06:00

"I'm always up for a good scandal."
--Tiffany Jones

How I feel

Yesterday at work, I'm doing my own thing. I usually do that. I talk to a lot of people. -ish. Some days I feel like a digital recording. "Thank you for calling Burlington Coat Factory in Orem where we now offer cash back, this is Felipe, how may I help you?" All is going okay, the usual.

So, there I am and there are three females: one grandma, one mom and one little girl probably about five years old. Mom and grandma are going through the motions and the little girl starts talking to me about how she's going to go camping this weekend. She was all excited and telling me stuff. I was like "Hey, that sounds fun" and responding to her some. I even told her that if she was good, then she might see a shooting star. It was such a feel-good conversation. What innocence! What good times!! And then I thought to myself; I want to be a dad! No, really, I do. This first started while I was interacting with my niece a few months back. I just want to have nice, innocent conversations that you can really only have with kids. I would love to be some little ones greatest hero. I love interacting with the small ones. I almost never get the chance now.

Before I get to be a dad though, I have to deal with people [specifically women] around my age. And we all know what kind of luck I've had. But all will work out. Right now I'd just rather dream and let things happen. We know how I work. An all is good as of this moment. I have a few ideas. *devious smiles*

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

the internet is taking over

2006-10-14T22:54:00.000-06:00

"It's in that place where I put that thing that time."
--Phreak, Hackers

Maybe I should own the internet

I'm a boy. A real boy. So, my room if you can imagine is slightly messy. That's how it goes. Well, I was going to a bad luck party last night and I was in the midst of getting ready and hence was looking for a certain t-shirt of mine. It was my tacos shirt that my bro made. One of my favorites. I spent a minute or so rummaging through my clothes. I didn't find it. Then I thougth:

I need to Google Search my t-shirt.

1 match found in .08 seconds

It worked. I'm awesome.

I play like this every day

2006-10-13T20:33:00.000-06:00

"What did the president know, and when did he know it?"
--Howard Baker

"As far as I am concerned now, I have no enemies in the press whatsoever."
--Richard Nixon

Today and I are good friends

So, we all know it's Fiday the 13th. Superstition galore. People freaking out, cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria!! You know how it goes. I guess you could say that I'm sort of a believer in superstitions. This is how it goes: I generally did things a certain way before soccer games and track meets in high school. There was also the traditional nicotine patch for my events in track. This is a system that I've created for myself and hence, only applies to myself. As for everyday kinds of things, I think it's all people doing their own thing and people with with lucks good and bad overall.

Myself? I deal with all kinds of stuff every day. Dealing with the general public usually hammers me inside and out. I disagree with a lot of things. What actually happens to me is almost never what I wanted to happen. I deal with whatever comes my way. I deal with a lot of crappiness. This is what I do. I'm making the best I can. I'm optimistic but I also prepare for the bad. So this I say to Friday the 13th:

Bring it!!

Never been so excited

2006-10-10T20:04:00.000-06:00

"You remind me of a two year old me with a rubber lobster."
--Krista

to have been cut off

This is a short story but great nonetheless. Imagine thus following: A bearded man inside a Chevy Lumina.

So, there I am driving up University Avenue and was going to take a left turn onto Bulldog because I was getting food Saturday night. There was a red light and hence a line of cars in three lanes. I'm in the turn lane minding my own business and rocking out to my music. I thnk I was listening to the Postal Service. Anyways, there I am waiting for the go signal. There's a green but I'm not moving because one can't turn through oncoming traffic [that's bad], I look to my right and there is this bearded man in a Chevy Lumina [same color as mine too, wierd] who was rolling down his window down and was pointing in front of me way too excitedly. It took me a second to realize that he wanted to turn left. But the man was truly happy about it somehow. At least, he appeared so. Imagine a five year old kid going up to a stranger and pointing at a new toy that his mom is about to buy for him. So I couldn't let him down. I couldn't be so cruel. I couldn't take a man down who was so elated to cut me off. I let him in. And I just felt really good inside. Yeah, I feel good. Ah.....

Favorite Renditions of Myself

2006-10-06T18:27:00.000-06:00

"So, which one is Ben and which one is Felipe?"
--Evan Kellogg

and it goes like this

Felipe
Feleep
Phillip
Phil
Flop
Flops
Flippy
Flippy "the squirrel"
Filpay
Filipay
Ffffff.......
Phipe
Pahillapi
Leap
Leaps
Leapers
Fleapers
Leapers-Goro
Flipay
Tranjulo Ortego
Terragon Oregano
Sanchez
Sancho
Sanchitos
Sancharino
Felipe Tranquilino Ontiveros Sanchez!!!!! [ah crap! I'm in trouble!]
Andrew, no, Felipe!!
Yellow Boy
Pocho
Lips [thank heavens that one didn't stick]
"Your Grandma!"
snotnose

I can't think of anything else. And there are a certain few that I left out. Some of which were quite saucy. He he!!

Dream A Dream

2006-10-04T19:54:00.000-06:00

"You can thank my dental hygienist for our untimely aliveness."
--The Tick

I don't see how I could have missed this

I had this dream maybe thrice. It is one of the few dreams that I actually remember. Why? Two reasons: first, it's weirder than anything that TAITO ever came out with. Witness -->

Second, it's also one of the funniest things my brain has ever come up with. The probablem [problem and probably somehow fit together] is that I was asleep when I came up with this.

Here it goes. For some reason I'm contracted for the mob. I don't why and what for, I just am. Because I remember being in some tall building is some huge city. Let's say, Orland Park, just west of Chicago [I generally try to avoid downtown]. I probably work for myself because of my awesome ability to fly. But with this awesome ability to fly, I also spurt the equivalent of Tinker Bell dust all over the freaking place. I'm just in normal late 90's get-up and this gold dust is falling everywhere. And so on.

Along this notion that I work for myself is that the mob sends two hitmen after me. And they're both dressed up like Boba Fett. Plus they fly too! So here I am minding my own business when the two Boba Fett characters jump me. They jumped me!! Can you believe it? There was this awesome mid-flight battle that raged across the night sky. Turns out they give a pretty mean battle. However it was my wits in the end that saved me. I beat them in with their own helmets. Maybe wits was the wrong word. I think I'll use ethos. Beyond that I don't remember much.

That's pretty much the coolest dream I've ever had.

Conversation that I missed with my mom

2006-10-04T19:22:00.000-06:00

"Because I came out butt first."
--Sally, who is about to explode

Along with the rest of us

Sally told me I was a C-Section. Yup. Such a good conversation.

Yom Kippur

2006-10-02T19:59:00.000-06:00

"Also on the tenth day of this seventh month there shall be a day of atonement: it shall be an holy convocation unto you; and ye shall afflict your souls, and offer an offering made by fire unto the LORD."
--Leviticus 23:27, KJV

Tradition

I'm glad for this time. It is something that brings us together. We wear ties. We have ties to share to help others celebrate with us. We have a few IBC's. We as friends do what we do best, make each other feel good inside. Look back on the good times and plan for more. This is not my holiday but it is something I can use to better myself. Which is good for me.

This is a day of forgiveness. Now that I've take a few minutes to consider some of the meaning I can apply something good to me. I can forgive. Others. I know that generally we don't mean to hurt others but it happens every now and again. Looking past others faults will help heal the bonds I have with other souls. Myself. I'm really hard on myself a lot. Like I've said before, I need change. And how can I change and let go of the old stuff unless I forgive myself. I think I'm good for right now.

Not my game

2006-10-01T12:41:00.000-06:00

"You have to have the hashbrowns if you want your cash back over easy."
--Amber M.

And I will play it

I just discovered this: People have always played my game. When I say people, I mean girls. It has always been my game. I haven't really played anything else. Nor have I really tried I think. And that is where I have problems I do believe. One game cannot be played by both. If either game trumps the other, there is no solid foundation in which things can be kept alive. Maybe both games have to converge and be edited so that lifelong play can be achieved.

Come to think of it, my game is really scary. It might be the mystery involved. Maybe the mystery is what makes it intriguing. But the unknown is rather difficult to face. And that I think is what I want to do. And I think that is also what I need to do. Do I know how to work anothers' game? Probably not. But as I am interested, I'm going to darn well try. I haven't before, so I need to start.

I've been saying that I need change so now is a good time to get things going. I have a few ideas up my sleeve. They will get used. Now is the time. Am I freaking out? Of course! Scared out of my mind? Absolutely! Am I willing to risk 100%. Heck yes! So, we'll see what happens.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

Matrix

2006-09-29T09:55:00.000-06:00

"It looks like you're going to walk into a gay bar."
--DT

The red pill or the blue pill

This is my system. I have yet to get away from it. Not that I don't like it when it works. And yet somehow, it showed up again and I was really okay with it.

So I just let things happen. I'm good at that. Then I rediscovered that I do need to make things happen. Okay, so I'm kind of retracting and/or restating some parts of my last post here. Because I pushed my luck. Now I realize that one should make things happen. The whole give and take thing. I'm still working on this. Gotta let some things happen while making other things come to pass.

As for my soul. It is safe and sound in the Moleskine. I cannot express what having my soul back means. Ever since I got it back, good things have happened. I'm okay with this. Please take luck.

Welcome to my world

2006-09-24T00:37:00.000-06:00

"I dunno, I've always found your version and my version of hot girls to be different."
--Krista

It also includes a lot of mumbling

Had a very good chat with my very good friend. There was connection. What happens to us is never really expected. Things just kind of happen. Especially with relationships. I myself, am someone who just lets things happen. In my opinion, there's really not much else you can do. Kind of. -ish. well... You know the whole act, react thing, yeah.

This is how I work: I make the best of what's given me. Hence, I just let things run their course. Other people try to make things happen. But I think that really doesn't do as much as many thinks it does. You make things happen which may or may not lead to other things happening of which you have to let happen. There is always something else that leads another thing which has to be dealt with. Then with that, you do other things thinking they're leading this way but they're really not. Then something else happens and you're like 'What the crap?'. And sometimes we give up on some of these and something else appears, while elsewhere disappears while project C reappears. Follow?

Mom and Dad, how did you make it work? I think I'll just let things run their course if you don't mind.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

How long?

2006-09-22T20:07:00.000-06:00

"I know, I know, it's just a childish fear, grows and grows right in the middle of me."
--Twistinside, Everclear

...

Well, I got my soul back. But at what price?

The Ghost of Meals Present

2006-09-19T21:08:00.000-06:00

"So the french said 'our language is so cool, we'll make more of it'"
--Jim Meaders

Language Arts

This is how it goes. Like many of you know, I can do a number on the spanish language or in other words; I am rather fluent in said language. Also, I work at the BCF where I have many opportunities to speak it. Adding, having worked awhile in the department store scene, I have lost a lot of respect towards the human public. I have recently come to the point that I do not like speaking spanish to those who can't speak english. I believe my words were "I will not patronize your inability to speak english". My reasoning is thus following: If you live in an area where the majority of the people speak a certain language, then one should at least try their darndest in to speak in said language. The United States, though not having an official language, has all of its more important documents in english. Hence, this is what we call official language de facto.

It seems to me sometimes [not always though] that these people seek out those who speak spanish for translation purposes so they don't have to speak english. And this is where I just want them to learn english. I'm thinking, it's their prerogitive to learn said english if they live here. My other thought is that I went to Mexico and I learned spanish, why can't you do the same for me?

I know that this isn't really all that fair. When it comes down to it, I can't tell the difference between a tourist and someone who has just moved here. I don't know how long some of these people have been here. I know that many of these people haven't had a formal education of a second language. Some haven't had the level of opportunities as others. I have my assumptions which is really draws me back I think. A co-worker pointed this out to me. A lot of people really, truly try. However, I think I'm still biased.

Culture

Minor discovery or realization. Language is a basis of a culture. What you say, how you say it and who you say it to greatly affects the actions, attitudes, emotions, motions, thinking and zeal of a community. Generalizations can be made at any level. Country, state, province, county, city, community, suburb, apartment complex even household. The general populace of a certain area can be very different from a block away. This is how people define themselves. A common language is developed throughout the community. This language is much more than spoken. It is what the community is. Thriving subcultures anywhere in the world. Formed and dissimilated everyday. Some lasting for years and others only for days. Some people wanting to change theirs. Others never wanting to leave the one that's left them. The evolution of language. The evolution of culture.

We basically know what we want. We find ways to make things happen. Will do whatever it takes to keep things the way they were or not. I am not who I was 6 months ago. I'm glad.

The Ghost of Meals Past

2006-09-07T22:16:00.000-06:00

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."
--Charlie Chaplin

Revenge? Back with a vengence? Well beaten path indeed.

I did a bad thing. Went and read a few posts of a certain blogspot last night. I don't know why really. I think I was looking for pain. I was also curious as I often am. Then I realized a few things. Last of which was the realization that I should have written down the previous realizings in the Moleskine before drifting off to weary slumber. And believe you me, it was weary.

Along this note, though I've known this for a while: Revenge. Having been played like "Kid" Gleason, manager of the 1919 Chicago White Sox. Thorough and utter destruction. Give nothing. Find the moment to cause the most pain in public. Let everyone know what you did. This I will never do. Probably for good reason. This is what I will do; nothing that will cause this person to hate me. They can not, will not have a reason. That's all I got.

Next on the list the fact I'm on my on doing things the conventional way when it comes to socialism. I may do it like everyone else who is doing it. Meaning, those who are doing it, though not many because most of us are nobks, I'm going to be like them. My presence will be known. I'm meeting the new peoples and talking and all that jazz. None of this comfort zone crap. I am out to cause a ruckus. My plan is to be myself. I am at my best when I am myself. I didn't move to the place I'm at now to hang out with old friends. Nothing against old friends; I'm out to let more people know who I am. I am Felipe!

The Ghost of Meals to Come

2006-09-04T12:31:00.000-06:00

"I am available until 4:00 Tuesday."
--Brian F.

Ready or not

First of all, yesterday was the commemoration of the day of my birth. Not bad. Generally I'm not one to patronize my birthday but if anyone asks I will tell. Nothing more. No bash or anything like that. Just good times with friends old and new.

Here I am in a new place, a new ward. Here I am beginning the new life of me. Here I am trying seperating my dependency on the old and integrating with the new. Here I am trying to be me and hoping I don't freak anyone out. Here I am. Wow.

If I haven't mentioned, I dig the new digs. Finally got some roommates. Still have a room to myself until an already purchased contract is again sold. Still need to hook up some electronics but all is good. Still debating about adding more music to the collection. However, "Rock, rock on" will probably get the most play anyway. Not all my stuff is transfered over. Need to figure out what to do with the other stereo and one TV. Thought the latter is being made well use of.

As for people, many things going on. I didn't stop by the old complex for a week. Some of the cats were on Flops' withdrawals. So they say. We had nice little chats. I had a dinner party with another good friend. How I am still friends with some of these people amazes me most everyday. Old roommate is doing alright. Very good friend should probably be coming in today. She called last night and I missed it. Sad day. My bro-in-law's little sister scored me some SpongeBob cupcakes. Another girl scored me some cake for the day of birth. Ooh.... And I helped move her stuff into her apartment. Meeting new people with style. Having a good time all around. And there's the traditional making fun of the third roommate. We have fun.

Just need to get things done now. Looking up and forward. And please go do good things.

You probably don't want to read this

2006-08-29T00:32:00.000-06:00

"But the problem is that she has morals."
--Brando

If you want to learn...

Now, to tell you the truth, I can hock a loogie. By the way, this post comes up thanks to one miss L'Afro who stated that can't do distance with a loogie. I can. So, this post is to teach you how. If you don't want to learn, that's okay. I don't blame you. But I say it is quite satisfying to let loose of all mannerisms and let one fly across the way.

First of all, you need some amount of phlegm. No questions. If all you got is saliva, you're screwed. Substance adds the mass you need for aerodynamics and power to cut through wind. No substance means big time mess. Do not spit against the wind. That's bad. Getting the phlegm you ask? Well, you know that part in the back of your mouth? No, too low, that's your uvula. Yeah, right there! It comes from there. Be creative on your abilities to coax that stuff out. Good work.

Second, placement of substance prior to actual ejection from mouth. This is actually very important. Imagine, you have substance. Now pull the tip of your tongue down and back to where the substance is between your tongue and gums below the teeth. This allows for the necessary power for distance. Placed anywhere else and you've got resistance. And that can be fatal to a distance competition.

In between second and third is the formation of the mouth when it is time to let fly. Your lips pretty much have to be pursed. And this is the best way to describe the best formation of lips when it comes to the hocking of said loogie: you know that moment when you're pulling back from a kiss and you haven't let go yet, but your mouth is still open? That's the sweet tenderness. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of a good kiss or a good loogie, your time will come.

Third, take a deep breath and let it fly. Blow hard and force that substance out! Granted, it takes a bit of practice but with the basics, you'll have your own style. Those of you with manners and morals, it's all good. I tell you, there's something about just letting one out. No other satisfaction like it. I say at least try it once. Even if it for curiosity.

I love a good bottom-dweller

2006-08-22T17:39:00.000-06:00

"If all your roommates hate you, maybe that's a bad sign"
--Bishop Larry Howell

Once again gravity scores a point

Yesterday and today I moved into my new place. This entails many a thing. Let us start with the bad:

1. Physical exertion of carrying lots of stuff that you've collected over the last while. Why do I have this? Oh yeah, people give me things.

2. Realizing that you have way too much stuff.

3. Losing important items like the cord that powers your cell phone. Now where did I place that?

4. Finding stuff in the place apt. What's inside the closet should really have been moved or thrown away.

Good stuff:

1. If you're lucky, a clean fridge. Oh, it's amazing!

2. Spacious atmosphere. I could probably hold a soccer game in my bedroom with referees!

3. My bathroom is large enough to be unaffected by a black hole. It's huge. I love it.

4. Finding stuff in the place that's useful. i.e. board games, bouncy balls, and other weird stuff that may or may not brighten your day.

So, everything is mostly all good. I have no idea to whom belongs a large portion of the living room. The TV is huge. There's a compy. Um, this is expensive stuff. And I want to know what to do with it. I'm also not happy with the stuff that's been left in the closet. It needs to go.

Other than that, I dig the place. The kitchen is small but usable. Bedroom is really close to organized. I've got my set up. Got a few of the living essentials. All is looking good. I'm out to cause a ruckus. So all is good.

Sorry about the lame-o post. Not much else to say really. I haven't gone out of my way to notice any odd-type social behaviors or experienced any cool stories of note. But you all are great. And I want your bacon.

HelloteBradeP.!!

2006-08-19T20:57:00.000-06:00

"My moustache has a hemi?"
--RealLy, I don't knows

It's not like Visa cares anyway

Story: We all know that I work for the BCF. I work the cashier business. It pays the bills and I likes the people I work with. So, here I am taking peoples money for reasonably priced stuff and hopefully not leaving them with security sensors [I hear that they're the devil to remove]. Oft times when I'm taking said currency from people I don't actually handle effective/cash. People do pay with an ATM/Debit or credit card. With the republic credits one has to sign the pinpad located on the counter. Easy enough job right? Not for everyone. Any-dang-ways I see the names of people when they swipe said credit card. After they sign, the signature shows up on my screen. This is where it gets interesting; I see the name and it's something like "'Snaps' Provolone" or at least it had 'snap' in that order in first or last name. Well, the man signs the pinpad and presses the 'OK' button. Up shows the signature and I read "Brad Pitt". I'm taken aback. Co-worker also sees it. Everyone has a good laugh. I wish him a good day.

You see, no one really cares. It's not like most of our signatures are really legible. It doesn't matter what they look like as long as someone okays the transfer of a federal reserve note electronically from bank to bank. So next time I'm signing Gobo Fraggle

Title anti-IX

2006-08-16T10:55:00.000-06:00

"Felipe, do clear hangers now, or I will run you over with my car!!"
--Note from Sarah C. at work, written with love

I haven't said anything yet

probably want to read the first three paragraphs on this one. This dealt with some happenstances which lead to what I now call Title anti-IX that states:

"If at any time certain privileges are revoked by one Felipe T. O. Sanchez by conviction, warrent or probable cause, a person may not regain said privileges unless otherwise noted by the following clauses;

"1: a- Said revoked privilege may be temporarily granted if a situation is proven to be a situation of emergency or need/comfort.
b- This temporary pass is limited due to circumstance and is avoided at all costs.
c- Necessity dictates pass and is only given on rare occasions.
d- Pass is granted only for minimum time. Anything that is not necessity is not allowed and hence, pass is not granted.

"2: a- If permission is asked, a temporary pass may be granted if deemed a worthy cause.
b- If asked permission is granted, it is because F. Sanchez believes in mercy. Note that permission is very, very limited.

"3: a- Privilege may be regained on an overall basis over a non-specified period of time. Pass is granted after several trial periods of temporary passes and also strict abidement of laws given by and pertaining to F. Sanchez. Consent is to be respected and not trifled with.
b- If at all unsure of current status of pass of said revoked privilege, confer with F. Sanchez for details. Be warned of ambiguity with full load of honesty. Details are generally not spoken and hence F. Sanchez will do his best to form said details in spoken word.

"4: a- If a privilege has ever been revoked, don't push your luck. Refer to adendum 3 please."

Amendment under consideration: "Permanent pass of regained privilege to be in form of written consent on green card that includes terms and conditions discussed by felon and F. Sanchez and signed by both parties."

It is understood that all have their own laws and that everyone is entitled to the protection of their own entity and identity. This is about crossing lines, doing time and proving change. I have been revoked of privileges. I am probably doing time. I am hoping to change.

Jelly Belly

2006-08-07T13:06:00.000-06:00

"Every noble work is at first impossible"
--Thomas Carlyle

She never forgot the pedicure idea

This post is a tribute to Joji Logan. One of the coolest people I know. I work with her. She's in charge of the accessories department and passes by the registers often while at work. She was a huge fan of the pedicure date idea. Often times I hear her say "Hey Felipe, you have a hot date tonight?" To which I generally answer "No...", and then she'll say something like "Well, get to it." All in all, she is amazing. The absolute embodyment of niceness. She will always ask how I'm doing and just fun to talk to.

So, every now and again she buys stuff in the store. She gets alo t of things for her posterity. Why? Because that cool and who needs a reason, really? Last Thursday I'm doing my own thing at the customer service register and she comes up and buys some stuff for people she knows. As always, a good little chat. Fifteen minutes later she comes up again with this small can of Jelly Bellies. She looks me straight in the eye and says "Felipe, this is for your date. You can't eat it, you have to give it to your date." I blush. She smiles. I can't argue with her. I respect her wishes. She's only looking out for me. And really, who can refuse? So I now have this can of Jelly Bellies that lays next to my computer waiting for my next date to which I give. My next date will score. It'll be a good one.

I want to ask you how you feel but that's probably inappropiate

2006-07-29T10:25:00.000-06:00

"I just got game-overed!!"
--Ben, while playing Zelda64

This really happened to me

This is more story time. I'm hanging out with Fliptastic, L'Afro and extra-curricular friend Haley. Here we are this, that and everything including horrible date stories. We all know how that goes. So, all in all, it's a good time. During said time I gets a phone call. I don't recognize the number but will answer anyway. This happens now and again. And this is basically how the conversation went:

Me: Hello?

man: Hi! Is one Emily there?

Me: No...

man: Who is this?

Me: I'm Felipe, some sort of BYU student doing my own thing.

man: Is this 801[rattles of my phone number]

Me: Yup.

man: Oh...I guess I'll try another number...[sounding really, truly disappointed]

Me: Good Luck!!

Here are my thoughts. This man got hosed! Probably went to some sort of dance/party. More than likely went with a bunch of guy friends likely roommates. Goes out does a shimmy or two. Grows a little bit of courage and makes conversation with other peoples many of which are of the female gender. Good for him. He even has enough courage left over to ask for a girls phone number. This girl however, gave him not her phone number, but probably one she made up which happens to be mine. We might have the same prefix but, that doesn't help said boy. At all really. Now he just feels crappy. Maybe Emily wasn't even her name. Trust, what do we need that for? We all want a good time. And by so doing lead to the hosing of a man. I hope he finds what he's looking for.

C:\>Good Luck_

Revelatory Sundays

2006-07-22T12:15:00.000-06:00

"A little something to figure out."
--Bonnie Raitt

And other curiosities

Oh wow. This has been an interesting week. Full of discovery and surprise. Talk about hitting every note sharp and flat over four octaves of emotions. I've looked a lot to the past as of late. This act generally hammers my soul but this time around, I was able to see the why of things.

During Sunday School I actually stayed awake. The Bishop had gone over some details about revelations and who they apply to. I then thought to myself 'I've had a few revelatory experiences during my lifespan under the human race'. However one in particular stood out most. It was one that hit me early last November. It's not often do I ask certain questions. In fact, I think I've only asked it thrice, maybe... And let me tell you that the feeling I got was quite distinct. This experience was the exact reason for a very large many of my actions from then until April.

Over those many months I spent many a day thinking about details that dealt with said revelatory experience. What I did in December was a direct result of my thought process. What I did and could not do were because I still believed. Really, until now I believed in what I thought was true. What I believed in so much was only something that was possible, not necessarily "exact truth". I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I think I mentioned this before; that I believed in something so much that I would do anything to make it true. Which I still think is not necessarily a bad idea. Acting under such conviction will take you places. I think it's the only way to go. I've learned a lot. And it's been good and bad. But I don't mind learning.

I'm out to sea. Searching for treasures. Cutlass in hand, eyepatch on...eye.

C:\>Good Luck_

Wouldn't you like to know

2006-07-20T13:07:00.000-06:00

"Aldo's a treasure trove of linguistic anomalies."
--Dr. Poole, Oscar

A treasure trove indeed

1. http://sanchitos.blogspot.com/2006/01/one-step-forward-making-two-steps-back.html

2. http://sanchitos.blogspot.com/2006/02/i-won-pre-owned-footwear-and-two.html

3. http://sanchitos.blogspot.com/2006/04/this-day-of-fools.html

4. http://sanchitos.blogspot.com/2006/04/this-is-all-kinds-of-fuzzy.html

5. http://sanchitos.blogspot.com/2006/05/ground-control-to-major-tom.html

6. http://sanchitos.blogspot.com/2006/07/cosmic-weirdities.html

You remember these don't you. Those horrible little ambiguous posts that tell the entirety of my thoughts without telling you anything. Amazingly enough there were only six of them. Only six. These do actually represent some messed up times in my life as of late. And I also realize that my thought process can be something else. Most of what I think, should probably never be done. But they are experiences that have developed my inner-workings.

So this is what I did: I went through them all and wrote down what names went where in the Moleskine. And let me tell you, it was quite the experience. I did fairly well at remembering people and under what letter was their identity. It is quite interesting to to see what people I was thinking about and what part they were playing in said life. Now there are about two or so letters for which I can't remember exactly who they were and that does sadden me. There are also a few letters that don't have names because they were unimportant and don't really need to be remembered anyway [i.e. persons E, F and H is no. 2]. Some of the letters are reoccurring like unto Man H who appears in 4 and 6 who happens to be Heavenly Father himsef. So you can guess what activity P could be. You will not know the question though. That's very personal. I relearned a lot here. It was quite fun.

Doing this was certainly a good experience. I did have to make some phone calls to fill in some blanks. This lead to some fun conversations. So I thank all of you people who have helped me develop my ideas and forms of posts. I have yet to decide how ambiguous I want to be on this blog. I'm sure I'll have my moments. And this last Moleskine is becoming quite juicy. My posterity will read it someday. And they're going to think I'm messed up. Good for them. Have a nice day all you all.

Sadly Genius

2006-07-18T19:51:00.000-06:00

"The killer in me is the killer in you."
--Disarm, Smashing Pumpkins

Two things, maybe more

I had this genius idea. I'm getting back into this writing thing again. As I look back to what I've written I'm amazed to read what insights I've had and also see what I've forgotten. Writing certainly helps me keep track of myself. So, this idea I had involves something I will be doing soon. I know that many of you readers would really, REALLY like to read what will be written. I won't say anymore though. I've said too much. You'll know soon enough.

On other stuff, I just had a chat with Mom. She informs me of all the happenstances of the goings ons' of the family. This time I got caught up with my little sister. Li'l sis has gotten herself into some things that are viewed as unkosher. I know that everyone has different views about what's good and what's bad. What is done is between the doer and the Lord. We can only watch pray and hope.

I got a call from my parents cell phone while at work. Mom said she didn't call. We figure it was Li'l sis. Maybe she wants to talk about stuff, maybe not. Maybe she needs to blow some steam, maybe tell a joke. I don't know. I can't force. I can only really listen. Maybe she'll let me say my opinion. Maybe she thinks like I did when I was her age. Maybe I'm not connecting when I should. Maybe I missed something. Maybe I missed my chance. Maybe she needs to learn on her own.

Blanca, tribe of Sanchez: you are my little sister. I love you.

The fact that I enjoy the fact that I don't enjoy swimming

2006-07-15T23:22:00.000-06:00

"So when are you going to get rid of your face?"
--Michelle W.

It's true, and I'm bi-polar

This idea kind of developed last summer. Well, -ish. Next round I might quote said 3rd Moleskine about the whole ice-skating thing. But his here is how it goes now: I don't swim. Can, but would rather not. Not really good at it either. Not that I care any. It's been almost, if not already, three years since I've done any swimming. Just don't care to. And I'm really okay with that fact.

Several friends of mine [one in particular] will oft times go to some apartment complex [The Glenetentary to which Matt is moving to, dork] and hit up the pool up there. They play a game that involves throwing a ball around and bullying each other up. A very active piece of work if you enjoy doing such things in water. I am clearly a land animal.

Now, that "one in particular" friend goes along to said water activities almost always. She can be convinced not to, but right now that doesn't fly with me. I let her go. This allows me to give me some time away from the situation. A situation that I haven't deemed good or bad yet. But it's a situation nonetheless. Quite. Time away from the situation allows me to invest my thoughts on other moot points.

This situation could go in several of two or three directions in one very large recipe. This is where I'm bi-polar. I am sometimes really okay with the idea of the situation. For certain reasons I could go along. For other reasons I could certainly back away. Flippin' told me about "MF". And my thought process is now something else. I'm trying to look at things other peoples point of view, my point of view, considering if I smoke drugs and whatnot. Then there's that thing called a conscious. We also have the tattered remnants of my soul. It's in much better condition that what it used to be. I consider a lot of things. My soul, other peoples' souls, socialism [the interactions of people in a social setting]. whether or not I want to be said "MF". I think I need to worry about other things first. However I am still curious about certain elements with people I know. Eh... In the end all will be well. Be good!

To keep a secret

2006-07-13T01:29:00.000-06:00

"I know it's not a party but it happens every night"
--This Place is a Prison, The Postal Service

One must hurt the secret

I discovered that I'm human. Sadly enough, I am. I thought I had taken a stand. Depends on who you talk to. Depends on what about. What do you want me to do? And these are my steps to success:

Step 1: Throw caution to the wind
Step 2: FREAK OUT!!
Step 3: PBBPPPTHH!!!
Step 4: I don't know
Step 5: Freak out again

I think I need to read Moleskine #2 sometime soon.

C:\>Good luck_

Cosmic Weirdities

2006-07-11T23:20:00.000-06:00

"I heard a police man say 'Just another overdose.' 'JUST ANOTHER OVERDOSE!!!'"
--Heroine Girl, Everclear

Here we go again....CRAP!!!!....."$%&*%&$"

Persons R and E. Time slots J and N. No time slot D. Feeling A in the air. Activity M elsewhere. Secret Q. Going out of mind Y. Need to pray to Man H. Listened to song 1 of album P by band W. Okay, so persons R and E returned from time slots J and N respectively. I don't know if I can handle secret Q. Oh, and person S will have my head!! I will have my head!! Then there's also persons C and K who, well, no longer really worried about. What are we thinking? What are we doing? I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Midnight Shavings

2006-07-02T17:11:00.000-06:00

"When we were phylangelizing, my neurons were firing."
--LJ Frost

I'm bored and I itch

This is how it goes: We all know that I tend to grow out my hair for several months. I hadn't had a haircut since early March. Almost 4 months. Many times during said time period I had the urge to shave my head. This happens every now and again. Generally I'll get the urge and skip it, not cutting the hair and I won't have an urge for another two to three weeks. So, Friday night rolls around. I had been working all evening and got home around 9:40-ish. I eat food and do a few other things about the apartment. I get to chatting with a good friend and around 12:15am I was like "The hair needs to go". I asked her if she was bored, she said yeah and so I got my clippers and went over. I was done with the deed in about 20 minutes. No pictures and no goofing off. All was good. It was a late night but I didn't mind. If I go with the urge, there's no stopping me. I like it like that. That may change someday. Eh.. All's good.

And you can't even see the bald spot on this one!

It's coming down, it's coming down

2006-06-28T09:36:00.000-06:00

"Flames! Flames, on the sides of my face! Heaving breaths!"
--Mrs. White, Clue- as played by one Madeline Kahn

You've nowhere to hide

Somehow, I've managed to get along with most people. Over the past years, I've gotten to know several young ladies with whom I've had some very good chats. These happen to be the "Apt. 5" ladies. Two in particular I've had strong ties with as of late. I hear a lot of the ranting and raving and "people are idiots" convos. with them. Last night, one of these girls had to let some steam off. She had to speak her mind about a certain someone whom she really distastes. I know the other person too. Certainly my views and opinions have been affected. This happens to me every now and again from the apt. 5 girls. They are:

My fountain of information

A lot of what I hear comes from those two. There used to be a third from said apt. 5 but stuff happened and sadly enough, I don't think she exists anymore. I hear all kinds of indecency/badness of other people from said apt. 5. They haven't been so lucky with roommates and boys and whatnot. Talking with them has taught me to stand back and observe people. Often times I am not a big part of a group conversation. People will often times will talk more than I. It is during those times that I am vaguely paying attention to the concepts of the conversation but rather the details of what is said and why. I study the people. Their mannerisms and other details that go along with the conversation. This of course has sometimes led to over analyzation of some people. But if it's not over-analyzation it's over-trusting. Eh... We all got things to work on, and if we do, all will be alright. Please don't be jerks.

Looking Forward

2006-06-27T12:52:00.000-06:00

"Stay away from that Mexican Honkey's rear end!!"
--Tamsen Miller

I need a buddy

Where?

I'm going home. At least for a couple of days. I've got siblings and nieces and nephews there. I haven't seen many of these people from months to years. It'll be good to get out. I got to talk to some of them last night. The drive is long, the trip is short lasted but I do believe that all will be worth it. And Mom suggests that i have a riding buddy. I need to make some phone calls.

Transition

I discovered as of late that I'm in some sort of transition mode. I need change. The reason being is that I've become complacent. I don't get out as much as I would like to. I'm not really satisfied with my social life. Hence, I'm forcing myself to take some chances and making new friends. I'm moving to a place with so far no one I know. Dangerous? 'Tis true. Do I care? -ish. That really depends from what angle you ask that last question. I want to go beyond my comfort zone. Maybe I'll write more. Maybe good or bad things will happen. I don't know. We'll see what happens. And I love you all.

Where am I moving to you ask? Just here:

You are quite attractive

2006-06-16T22:38:00.000-06:00

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there"
--Josh Billings

Means to an end

I think this is a great story but I need to give some background of the inner workings of my job for understanding. So hence: Generally work isn't all that exciting. Like most jobs, there are a lot of things that have to be done in a certain order of events. When someone comes in to return an item or something we cashiers need what we call a "keyturn". This consists of us using the scanner to scan the barcode on the back of the manager's name badge. This happens all the time. So, over time we start using phrases like "Can I borrow your authority?" or "I need to scan you" and various other forms of the those questions and/or demands.

Storytime: One attractive female was returning an item without a receipt which requires an extra keyturn of an upper level manager [about level 40]. Amber came to my rescue to bag the merchandise that the attractive young female was also buying. I told Amber what was up and did my thing. After typing in a few numbers and pressing enter and tab in the necessary order it was time for me to get a keyturn from Amber. So I turn to Amber who is right behind me and I say, "Can I scan you?". Amber pulls out her badge and I scan. Whilst while we hear "Did you just ask if you could scan me?" Apparently said attractive female thought I was talking to her. Amber said the female was slightly taken aback and a bit giddy. We had to let her down. The whole happenstance was quite humorous. Good day indeed.

And why am I not allowed such appearances?

2006-06-09T19:42:00.000-06:00

"Obviously, it makes it that much more difficult for the police when the crimes are reforted after the event."
--Det. Sgt. Doug Marshall [UK]

There's nothing wrong with down

So right now, my hair is getting to the rather lengthy stage. I believe it's already been stated that I have thick hair, that it only grows in an upward direction and that it can only be cut with a lawn mower and like jokes. Generally, my hair sticks out. Peoples get all crazy about the "fro". Me? I'm mostly lazy and I don't really do much of anything and hence it's always on the slightly messy side. That's how it goes.

So, I combed it down and parted it a couple of nights ago. I look quite different or so I've been told. I went over to see a friend who basically couldn't handle what I did. She pretty much said unto me that it needed to be fro'd out and tried to "fix" it. It really bothered her. Eh... Most of the time my hair is unable to be parted. I like to switch it up now and again. I see nothing wrong with that.

The one problem that I've had if the hair is combed down: my sideburns curl into my ear. And it tickles. I just think I need to get used to it. I'm okay with that for right now.

Congratulations!!!

2006-06-06T14:40:00.000-06:00

"Don't tamper with that!"
--BCF customer

You're an instant target!!

No offense or anything, if you're angry, I and probably a lot more people are going to make fun of you. Let's get it straight, if you're angry, people are going to ridicule you. And I wouldn't be surprised if you do the same. Story:

There was this man a couple of days ago whom I told to wait a little bit longer to ring him up because there was another lady who had been waiting for much longer than he had at the time. To this he retorted "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to catch you at a bad time!" in a rather snappy voice. He apologized several times when I checked hime out. I wondered if I sounded angry and my supervisor said no. Eh... He said the above quote when I pointed to the little pay screen and tried to explain what needed to happen next. He didn't want me near the thing. He left me scratching my head in wonder when he had finally gone and paid. Almost immediately afterwards, at least two co-workers started quoting him in a mild manner of ridicule. That's when lightning struck my brain. People are humorous when they're angry. Part of them comes out and says and does some really weird stuff. And it becomes really funny sometimes.

Here's another example. There was this kid that hung around my group of friends for awhile in high school. On one occasion he was so enfuriated that he started talking in third person. We could hardly take hime seriously. There are certainly times when it takes every molecule possible to hold back your laughter. Of course we were also jerks in high school. But there are some people who, when angry, are just insant targets for ridicule. And many people will jump at the chance to make fun. And most of us aren't sorry. Too bad.

People don't read

At work I've discovered that there are a lot of people who don't read. Either that or they're so eager to sign anything that they're bound to sign their life away. The instructions on the touch pad are easy enought that if you stand back, wait and read their is no confusion. You always confirm the amount to pay before you sign. About 40% of my customers fail to read and start signing on that screen. It's pathetic. Oh, and even though it's printed on the receipt, close to no one reads the return policy. I'm sorry, you got jacked. Oh well.

Job Offers

2006-05-26T20:15:00.000-06:00

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
--Abe Lincoln

You can use me as a reference

Having worked at the Burlington Coat Factory for yon three months now, I must say it has been an overall good experience. I get to deal with a lot of weirdos, chumps and freaks. Freaks? I've had my fair share of what have yous in the business and I've been cranky the past couple of days because people think we're idiots and we're mostly not.

But, in all this craziness, I have been told several times by customers that I should get a raise, complimented on my speaking voice and I've even been offered at least two jobs. One lady gave me her business card and told me to call her so I could work in her office. A couple of days ago, one lady said I should go to Alaska and work for Cruise West. She even said I could use her as a reference [Matt Perry's mom I'll have you know]. There are even days where I consider becoming a radio personality. Might as well, 'twould be better than working for BYU [of course, that doesn't take much]. Maybe I should seriously consider some of these options. We'll see.

And, I hate my internet.

Grandma 'fros

2006-05-24T23:57:00.000-06:00

"Your knickers are falling down granny."
--Kersina Miller

They come in blue and purple!!

If you take notice long enough, you'll find these nice old ladies with the greatest afros you could ever imagine. I, working at a cheaper priced department store, get to see all kinds of stuff. This will include the dirtiest mullets you've ever seen, bullets [what I consider a cross between a bowl cut and a mullet], Señor Cardgage comb-overs and my personal favorite, grandmas with purple afros.

There are these old ladies with this amazing hair. This impressive mass of hair on average sticking out at least 3 inches from the scalp. Most common colors are gray, blue and purple. I'm not allowed to have such hair, but the grandmas can pull it off. How is this possible? I don't know, but I do think it's still pretty cool.

When I'm old, I'm shaving my head. That's it.

possible routine

2006-05-21T17:52:00.000-06:00

"License never replace eyes, ears or brain."
--Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid

get things done in your hometown

Now, it may be possible that you're from a small town. I'm from a small-ish town. Every place is different, we know that. Then we have towns that every makes fun of. My cousins do happen to be from Kenilworth, UT. Ever hear of it? Not many people have. It has the population of sagebrush and garbage dump. It's about three miles east of Helper. Like that helps much.

But the thing is that often times, some things need to get fixed in a town. Maybe there's a building that needs to get torn down and replaced. Or there's a sign that's all kinds of ghetto. I don't know, something that when you see it, you get the shivers. Think the following. Try it, I dare you. Sometimes, things just need to get fixed though they've probably been ignored for the past several days, months and/or years. Hello, Miller apartments. And sometimes the only way or time that things might get fixed, is when said thing is in absolute disarray or destroyed.

My point is thus: If you want things to fixed, you might have to cause some ruckus and get things destroyed. Or at least cause some decent amount of damage. When you do that, you're bound to attract attention to what needs to be fixed. I've done this before though, not intentionally for fixing up Kenilworth.

Here are the examples:

There's my cousin B-Joe who had decided to sit himself on top the Kenilworth sign as you head into said municipal. Nothing wrong with that of course. It's not too hard to get up there. While upon said municipal sign cousin Jeremy [driving his illustrious 'I am from the middle of butt-nowhere' truck] proceeds to drive into the sign while his little brother was still atop. B-Joe didn't fall and no one was hurt, but the sign was definitly off center. I come back the next day, and the sign is gone. We all know why. I come back next year and they have a new sign up. 'Bout time.

Example #2: In the said same municipal of Kenilworth, the boys and I causing a little bit of ruckus. We were doing something called the "Floating Newspaper Trick" which consists of a newspaper, some thread and two reflector posts on either side of the road. Cars stop and people check it out. We few trouble-makers are either hiding in a nearby tree [Mikey and I] or in some sagebrush [Andy and B-Joe]. This is all good fun, correct? Correct. Now, there came a point where I had to use some indoor plumbing. I also pick up cousin Bubba [not his real name but we call him that anyway]. Upon our return to the place of wreaking small amounts of trouble we get word from their neighbors that a car went into the ditch. We panic, of course. Apparantly, some grandma-type lady had stopped, observed the newspaper in front of her never exiting the car, backed up and tried to go around. This wouldn't be so bad but the fact that there was a ditch on both sides of the road at that point, grandma fell in. She couldn't get out of the car. Peoples came up and helped her out. A cop showed up. Andy and B-Joe came off from the side claiming to be looking for a black labrador. Bubba gives the old lady a hug. We go home as all the neighbors are trying trying to get the car up and out. So, we're in the house talking and what have you about the incidents of the day and/or night when we realize we haven't seen hide nor hair of Mikey. We don't worry or look for him, just wonder where the blazes he is at the time. About an hour or two later he shows up and we inquire of his whereabouts. Turns out he was still in the tree above the grandma lady the entire time. At least three hours. Poor sap. Good times. I come back a year or two later and notice that the ditches on the sides of the road had been filled during my absence. So, in essence, we've done a lot of good for the town.

The point is, if something needs to get done, do a little destruction. You'll be amazed at what that does. Sidenote: I don't ever plan on doing these things again.

Bonus Mosh pt. II

2006-05-11T23:14:00.000-06:00

"I love my Grandma, she's very...mean!"
--BJC

I'm bound to come around about

Ground Control to Major Tom

2006-05-10T00:30:00.000-06:00

"I never said most of the things I said."
--Yogi Berra

Space Oddity

I am Apollo 13. B is Apollo 12. J is the Challenger. P never left space camp. Person Q offered P and I food out of the blue. We think because she got stuck with dork D. I am also glad to know that person M is in ward F with us whose roommate C is dating person N who gives me the willies X. Plus, person C use the term "little brown seed" during act T. We almost peed pants Y because of said "little brown seed". We thought it that funny. Then there was person E who apparently can't tell the difference between ethnicities W and H. How? I think I found place G to live in during semester K. Good times.

Online Again!!

2006-05-04T19:27:00.000-06:00

"I give you credit as an 'I have balls' moment"
--Peter Decker

Bookshelf=Desk

Well, well, I am online again!! I am in my new place finally. Moved in on Monday. Got everything I needed [still missing two of my towels though]. I can dig the joint. The set up is pretty sweet though I don't many people outside of my apartment as of yet. Oh well. But I am blasting all the 80's and Disney music I have including such hits as "Kiss the Girl" and "She Blinded Me With Science". Got the Jolly Roger and the Yoda poster up. Things will be quite cozy once everything gets off the floor and organized. That'll happen soon enough. Things are much different but also much needed. This was a good move.

Dinner

So, Tuesday night rolls around. I get off at work. I had the closing shift, with which I dealt with no back-up cashiers and some wierdos. Other than that not bad. I'm driving home and it's kind of late and I'm hungry. I didn't feel like cooking so I decided to go through the drive-through at the KFC. I get the food in a semi-orderly manner and drive home, all is normal. Halfway through my meal I take a look at the bag and notice something rather bizarre. In neat penmanship is written, "Kayla [phone number] call me". I was taken aback but laughed aloud. This has never happened to me before. I scored a girls number at a KFC drive-through. I could be that cool. So I gave a call later that night. Good chat. We shared a few laughs. Man, that was rad.

Circus Week

2006-04-29T22:01:00.000-06:00

"You can call me Heathen if I can call you Satan."
--Heather, BCF

General strangeness and other what have yous

at work:

at apartment:

That pretty much sums up everything this past week. Well, the past few days. So many things going on. Seeing parents. Mom making the most amazingly horrible pun. Freaking out and getting things straight earlier on this week. Krista and Aimee should be friends. Probably lost a Moleskine to Amy G. Sad day. And one last thing: I think I can't wait for the pedicures. This is genius.

I don't want to be human

2006-04-23T15:44:00.000-06:00

"I'm spread, so thin, I don't know who I am."
--Tired of Sex, Weezer

You knew better

First off, I'm guilty of the same. But, can I ask this question: Have you ever believed in something so much that you would do anything to make it true? I think I have. However in the answer to that question, one can't do it alone. One needs to the "okay" to continue forth with that dream in certain cases. I also have to ask the following: How do we not trifle with other peoples dreams? This is not an easy road to walk.

Now I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I certainly have my faults and weaknesses. Believe you me. I only ask that my faults or weaknesses not be exploited. I know we're human. But I don't want to be human, nor do I want other people to be human. I guess we should all be robots. But I think I'm asking too much right there. Yeah, I am.

Now, I'm not as bitter or as angry as I sound here. I'm just trying to get things straight here. I'm certainly entitled to my own opinion as is everyone else. If you get the brunt of it, I'm sorry. But thanks for listening.

Thanks for all the fish

To those still worry about my soul, thank you so much. To Cami, Callie, Sharalyn and Mandy who never let me down. To Ruth for "loving up" my Moleskine and for those conversations about things we should never do to other people. To Krista and LJ for being some of the most loving and funny peoples ever. To Kersina for the conversation very early this morning for me and mid-afternoon for you and sorry about the German [the jibblies ensue]. To Katherine for accepting that hubcap. To Sandra D. for unwittingly setting me straight. To Amy, for everything. To Amy, for landing me some great advice and incredible drawings. To Aimee for saturday morning cartoons, the up and coming Carmen San Diego and many other joyous ideas done together. To Amy for the fireworks and much more. To Mom and Dad [temporal and Heavenly], I wouldn't be here without you. Thank you.

Painting the town red

2006-04-20T16:56:00.000-06:00

"In this world there are two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, the other is getting it."
--Oscar Wilde

Way to hold strong Newell

Never had he seen her like that. Not once had Newell been the one who wiped away the tears of McKay and give words of comfort. That was her job mostly. That was because he was the one who was supposed to get in trouble. However, they haven't seen each other as of late. The reunion was good but it shouldn't have been like this. Newell lied there recalling the events of the late night.
--

He sat there and listened to McKay. She could hardly speak through the sobs. He could tell that she had been holding this in for a very long time. Newell knew that she could not go on much longer with that Griffith boy.
"He never treated me right. I was always the 'sure, you can be my girlfriend when I'm bored'." Newell didn't know how this took but he knew she wouldn't be okay until she spoke every single one of her thoughts. That's how she worked. There was no stopping her but Newell didn't mind. He missed it in fact. The way she rambled when she was excited, sad, angry, disappointed. Whetever she was trying to express, Newell was there to listen as he was truly interested in her being happy. That's how he knew her. Happy. He didn't want her feeling any other way.
--

"Buck up Sunshine," he said. McKay looked up and smiled. She said that to him when they first met four years ago. That was their way of saying "I'm there with you all the way". That always got them through. This time is no different.

Maybe I can't write but I had fun with the story

Ben and I went around town. We had to visit some places and people. I forgot all about Newell and McKay. Completely forgot. When I remembered the good times I rolled over and did that giggle thing. I was so happy. In fact, I haven't seen Sister Kimball in forever. Anyways, the time has come to think about practice. Hmm...Happy Pirates. And this is the T-shirt design.

It's better in a measuring cup

2006-04-17T14:12:00.000-06:00

"If Al Gore invented the internet, I invented the spell check."
--Dan Quayle

fiddlesticks and J. Edgar Hoovers

I discovered thatI don't like cold cereal in the morning. It was quite the discovery. It's been a long while since I've had the cold cereal until recently and it just wasn't doing it. Eh... But I discovered that eating said cereal in a measuring cup is really cool, or something. I don't know why.

Weekend this' and thats'

(Matsugi was here. Hah! And Flops might die...*goes to attack*) Other than that attack, all is good. Weekend was spent mostly working. Saw some people I haven't seen in awhile. Talked to a few others. Made good use of my phone. I spent a good time talking to peoples. I certainly need to do that more often. When I do that, I get myself into less trouble with myself. And it was a good weekend.

There's not much better than the nostalgia of listening to old theme songs with a good friend. Listened to Carmen Sandiego, Fraggle Rock, Rainbow Brite and the likes. I just scored the Ninja Rap from TMNT II yesterday. Yeah, I'm happy.

At work on Saturday, I was reminded [I don't know how] of a childrens book that I read a lot when I was young. Good old Tikki Tikki Tembo. In fact, I'm a childrens' book fiend. I blame Mom. We both don't mind. Now I need to go shopping.

this is all kinds of fuzzy

2006-04-12T00:03:00.000-06:00

"It's nice to have someone to cuddle."
--Mom, you are amazing

Song of the day is "It's all Coming Back to Me Now" by Celine Dion

Person R was Person M last time around and I think will continue henceforth to be person R. I compared person E to person R during that time. But even during concept Q with person E I knew that potential T could not be reached. I also have idea B about R but freaked out of mind Z because of time slot J. Time slot D jacked has jacked me twice and hence I fear time slot J. I wonder a lot of things. Details like D and F and working out problem G. I wonder. Once I asked man H during activity P and got answer Y. I wonder, fear, doubt and hope. Hope.

Pretty much like I'm being branded as a cow or something

2006-04-10T13:14:00.000-06:00

"Why don't you guys arrest me already!"
--Freak, Hackers

But I like cows... and the explanation is not my own

So the rules are as follows. Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with '6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself.' In the last 'fact', choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Then leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' on their page telling them to read your your blog.

1. My thumbs are anti-physics, which means that they bend and move in the bizarrest of manners. Maybe they're also anti-logic, that'd be cool.

2. Compared to all the other Sanchez men in my family and extended, I'm the hairless wonder. Many of them I believe are half bears. The desire for fishing also proves that fact.

3. Thanks Dad, it's your fault that I now like Riverdance, Shania Twain, Abba, Peter, Paul and Mary and pretty much anything prior 1990 as far as entertainment goes.

4. I grew up knowing and being good friends with the sons of Santa Claus. He's got the beard, belly, tobacco, alter ego initials [S.C. I kid you not] and saves all his jolly for Christmas. When he dies, his son Zack is going to take over and the title will change to Zanta Claus. I give you my word.

5. I pretty much know Calvin and Hobbes backwards and forwards. Some of my opinions have been shaped by those two.

6. My last name should have been Ontiveros. I don't recall the story very well but, basically someone got in some deep doo-doo and the name was changed to Sanchez.

I tag Matsugi, Jules, Audes, Chatted, L'Afro and Kraft Cheese

The Makings of

2006-04-05T15:00:00.000-06:00

"Your Toes sought and destroyed my armpits!!"
--LJ Frost

Musings at the 1:00am hour

Who in their right mind comes looking for you after the midnight hour? Uffish and L'Afro were certainly in theirs when they sought me out at 12:57:32.08 am. And let me tell you that the aforementioned was a riotous experience. Made me oh so very happy. Talking about soul destroying and good gaming and about a billion other things. Who knew that that would end my day? Yesterday was indeed a good day. There are many things that make for a good day. Let me list a few due to the idea given to me by Uffish. And there will be a tribute to LJ with a horribly great love is the worst thing ever simile.

And here it goes:

-watching amazing B movies like "Hackers"

-Making very good use of my new audio recorder shin dig with which I have recorded "Thanks for all the Fish" from Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, "Sblounskched" and a few other sound bytes from Homerstarrunner and coming soon, several movie sound bytes. Rock, rock on!!

-Finding your new favorite creepy song by Air

-Doing makeshift laundry

-Scoring new jpg and gif pictures from the internet

-Laying in the hammock with a very good friend and talking about nothing and everything at the same time.

-Warm weather, even if it is only for a few hours right now

-Weekly paychecks, ooh...and Paycheck is a great movie!!

-And social what have you!

Felipe...

2006-04-02T20:17:00.000-06:00

"Aren't Asians all the same?"
--Prof. Gaskill said to an asian

...It's time to die!!!

Well, it's been done. The details are ineffable so don't ask. Please.

Pirate stuff

On other stuff, I think the picture above is one of the coolest pictures ever. Don't we all need pictures of highly bizarre pirates? I thought so. I got a few more. Just as cool and probably a lot less freaky.

One thing I hope for is a new t-shirt. My old grade school was the Riveria Raiders. And the shirt was green with a pirate/raider on it. One of the coolest things ever. So, I emailed a principal that I know real well and asked if he could find one for me. We'll see what happens. That's about it.

This day of fools...

2006-04-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

"Satan's fairly attractive and he's going to stab you in the butt now with a pitchfork."
--Prof. Gaskill

Guess who?

This is how it goes: Person E. Just this week person S "yelled" at me for not doing activity L with person E. However, I know of persons C, H and probably R, T, and F are certainly okay with that. And we all know roommate K is all over this. Also, we have to mention that concept Q is still relatively unknown. Right now I am more than okay with that. I even think that person M is not even aware of concept Q. However, the way things are going, I'm going to receive well more than an earful from probably persons A, S, C, H, R, T and most of ward B. And I won't blame them. I'll deserve it. But, this time around, some souls are going to be destroyed. And no one will like it. Not even me. And for your information, I still haven't done activity L sind Dec. J.

I feel nothing

That's pretty much it. I feel nothing. I should at least feel something, right? With what I am facing, it's not a pretty sight for anyone in a like situation. Because for the most part, you feel something. In January, I was going through something similar. During that time I felt pain, but at least I felt something! I've put myself in quite the jam. Ah, crap!

C:\>Good luck everyone_

Almost as good as a handlebar mustache...

2006-03-25T19:44:00.000-07:00

"Tan fat looks better than white fat."
--BCF customer

...okay, probably better

Five Movies You Can Watch Over and Over:
1. Ghostbusters
2. Clue
3. Private Eyes
4. Oscar
5. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Five embarrassing Songs that You Know All the Words To:
1. Race Car Ya-Yas by Cake
2. Wild Wild West by Escape Club
3. Territorial Pissings by Nirvana [not hard, it's mostly screaming]
4. Just a Girl by No Doubt
5. We Will Become Silhouettes by Postal Service

Five Memorable Halloween Costumes:
1. Clown [age young]
2. Puppy [age younger]
3. Luigi [age 8]
4. Secret Service [age 23]
5. Jawa [ages 16 and 24]

Five Celebrities You Believe May Secretly be Alien:
1. Tim Curry
2. Charlton Heston
3. Pauly Shore
4. Fred Savage
5. Jeff Goldblum

Five Occupations that You Know You Could Never Do:
1. Social Worker
2. Student Counselor
3. Mortician [I'm creepy enough already]
4. Christopher Walken
5. Hunter Gatherer

Five Books You've Recently Read Outside of Schoolwork:
1. Lost World by Michael Crichton
2. High School yearbook [probably not a good idea, those people are still on crack]
3. Filthy Potter 6
4. Instruction Manual to my microphone
5. Various words of Various prophets slash apostles

Five Ways to Perfectly Spend an Afternoon:
1. Playing improv games with buddies/friends
2. Making or editing videos/movies
3. Goofing off with great friend/s
4. Napping in a hammock
5. You suggest something

Five Lines You Blatantly Stole From a Movie, TV, a Commercial, or Song:
1. "Good Work."--Whistler, Sneakers
2. "Yes it's true..."--Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
3. "Pbthbht"--Mrs. White, Clue
4. "...a treasure trove of linguistic anamolies."--Dr. Poole, Oscar
5. "Stay on target! Stay on Target!"--X-winger, A New Hope

Not Your 5 Favorite Foods, But the 5 You're Most Likely Eating:
1. Hamburger Helper
2. Quesadillas with the best cheese ever
3. Take 5
4. Doritos
5. Hot Pockets

5 People who should do this:
1. Doctor Jones
2. Doctress Jones
3. Several Almonds
4. Probes
5. Sly Stallone

And I was happy to get it

2006-03-21T23:12:00.000-07:00

"Settle down cheese lips!!"
--Prof. Gaskill

Really, I just wanted to give him a snuggle

So, in my last soccer game [this was about a week ago] I managed to get a yellow card. This is only the second one I have ever received after playing soccer since the age of late 14. I did nothing that I haven't done before. I just grabbed on to a guy to slow the man down. Okay, so I held on a little longer than I should have. I've done stuff like that before but have never gotten a card for it. Only this time it was already my second foul of the night. I deserved to get called. My opinion was that I probably shouldn't have received said yellow card. I've actually gotten away with worse. Fouls are basically an opinion. At least, that's my view on things. Eh...

Generally when a card is pulled, the one receiving it puts on quite the spectacle shouting out that the call was lame. I was just like "eh...oh well," and then I was told to sit out for the next two minutes. Other teammates asked what I did and I told them that I held on to his tummy. "Oh, like you were tickling him?" "Yeah, I just wanted a cuddle." So in other words, I was having fun.

Afterwards, I told the refs that they did a job well done. The one gave me the card said I was a good sport and was surprised that I didn't argue the call or anything. He said it was the first time he's ever really had somebody be okay with the call. I myself having been a referee know what it's like to be on their side. He then congratulated me for being a good sport.

I got a yellow card and I'm okay with it.

Ingredient of the Day: Methylcelullose

2006-03-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

"If Al Gore invented the internet, I invented the spellcheck."
--Dan Quayle

PC Slimfast is now in the house!

Things are going much better. I've been wanting to blog on several things but have been entirely too lazy to do anything about it. I guess you could say I'm sorry. Oh well. Anyways, I do need to pep things up because the last post was rather bitter. And, I'm not that bitter anymore. The apartment got cleaned up. Things are much more organized. Yeah, good times.

Last Saturday I went to a Harry Potter party. We watched the number 4. Not bad. The people were good. The movie was alright. We did have some riotous times in the place. Oh, then there was that quidditch game on the ceiling fan. The quaffle lost. They also had foods of of Hogwarts style. All in all, good times. Very impressive indeed. All the while I didn't even make a reference to Jackson Hole to Aimee. Though I wanted to several times. Those people are great.

Big News: I have a compy. It's name is PC Slimfast. It's one of the greatest things ever. Though, it doesn't have internet capabilities yet, it will soon and hence, things will be splendid. However, I have put in about 1.64 gigs of music on there. Now I can listen to a variety of tunes. Plus, there is also that one in eight chance that a Weezer song is boung to play. Yeah, those were the first songs to go on. What did you expect? Yay!! I have my own compy! Life is grand.

Other stuff I wanted to blog but will probably never make it

Colors of the Day: Wisteria and Tarrogan
The conversation that one person finds fecal matter funny
Keiths dad is a pimp
the crazy amount of people I saw on campus today and actually knew
Ingredients of the day: methylcelullose and glycerol ester of wood rosin
eating 9 crackers in 2.5 mins.
yup

The Inner Destruction of Apt. 4

2006-03-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

"I've got issues with me destroying the world and all."
--Randy Savage

What can you promise and/or offer me?

First: I don't what has happened. The apartment is trash. This place is now a never-ending mess. I really have no idea what is living inside the fridge or sink. Whatever exists in either of those places makes my eyes twitch and my stomach churn. I fear those places now. Every time I open the fridge my knees go weak. I'm certainly not in love but who knows about that fridge. The living room is a disaster. I don't know where most of this stuff comes from. The front area is pretty much a cross between Mt. Saint Helens and Trenoble to put it lightly. So, I'm feaking out. I've been wanting to rant and rave for quite some time now and it feels good. Thanks.

Second: I had two people ask me to vote for them for the BYUSA presidency. "Do it as a personal favor for me?" That's pretty much what I got out of them. Now, why should I do this for you? What do you have to offer me? I mean, BYUSA president is the most useless post ever. As far as I know, they don't do anything important. Yay, you plan on campus activities that I never go to. You platform ideas will never happen. It's like you have a house to power with electricity and can only provide 10,000 ohms. Good for you. Plus, I am absolutely not influenced by you. Completely unaffected. The only time I hear about you is during mid-march when voting is going on, other than that, you interest me as much as I desire ipecac syrup. So have fun with your conquest.

What's your favorite disease?

2006-03-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

"You look more like a bulemic to me."
--Professor Gaskill

I prefer hepatitis

Now, what do you do? I've been living at this joint for quite some time now. I think it's now around 1000 days. That's nearing three years. As much as I love the place, a brother has to leave.

I look back and think to myself, the miller is a good place and I've enjoyed my time here, but I need change. And to tell you the truth, I'm excited about it. I made the decision awhile ago and I'm sticking to it. And it's about time.

There have been several people that have told me that I needed to get out of there much earlier. There are a few others that still want me to stay. Some have asked me, "what would the miller be like without Felipe?" My response is that it existed before I was ever here. The place will still exist after. I seriously don't think anyone will set fire to the place after I leave. I won't. I'm not a big fan of arson. Things will be different. That's to be expected.

This leads me to a kind of related story. I was talking to a friendgirl of mine right after class explaining my intentions of moving and how it was definite. And I've told several people that I've stayed at the Miller for several years. These people often ask why I've stayed so long. Miller doesn't really offer a whole lot. So I said to one friendgirl today that the Miller for many people is like their favorite disease. It is mine. I said, "I prefer hepatitis over gonarrhea." For a lot of people, you stick to what you're familiar with. I've wanted to move out before but a few little details have made me stay. Really, the best way I can explain why the lengthy stay is to go to some website. Sometimes, that's just the way it is.

One last list:
I won't miss the carbonated milk
I won't miss the parking lot for a front yard
I won't miss the millerization of everything
won't miss the creepy cleaning check lady
won't miss the psycho drama from over-active people
I'm done with guilt trips to get people to pointless and entirely lame activities
I will miss many friends
goodbye nasty carpet

Michelle says I lost that twitch in my eye

2006-02-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

"We are who we choose to be."
--Green Goblin, Spiderman 1

disappearing act

I pretty much had this thought last night. Awhile ago one of my old friends said that I lost that certain twitch in my eye. Apparently it's not quite as screepy as it used to be. Well, I've change in these past two years. I think all of us have, unless you are Jack Nicholson which makes you always creepy. Now the thing is that I look back and see how I've changed. I also see how other people have changed. I wonder how things have become like this, what exactly are they now and how things will pro or regress. Believe you me, it kind of shakes your soul to think about this.

My point is thus; I think I've lost touch with certain people. They just seem foreign to me now. And that's really sad to me. I vaguely remember the friendships that we used to have and many of the happenstances that we've shared. How did we manage that? I trusted you with most everything. Why do you and everyone in your apartment think I'm lying when I say "You're beautiful," instead of "hello"? Why is it that I like you best when you're agitated at someone else? What keeps us from the then and now? I don't know.

I see friends from then and friends from now. They're different people. Not complete opposites but different nonetheless. Have we developed in so many individual directions to the point that we've become foreign to each other? I think that's what happened. We have our influences and we have our choices. What to we do? Do we shut some people off? Do we take the highway to one persons personality and their circle of friends? Do we become reclusive and let nothing out? Does everyone know my soul?

The question is: Can we still allow you and I to influence each other? Maybe.

not too different than footsies

2006-02-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

"This would be a perfect moment if I didn't have to pee."
--Jamie Probert

playing backsies is very weird

We all the know concept of footsies. Imagine the following:

Brando and Mel are on their fifth date. Things have been going well. Neither of them are sure how to make the next move. But, with the coaxing of their good mutual friend [bénxa] they know something is going to happen. Now it's just a matter of them deciding when and how. So, there you have the two just sitting next to each other at the semi clean table that's supposed to be used for eating. There's blushing on both sides and we know why. Then all of sudden, there's some movement of feet and and we have extended contact of podiatry or chiropody. Amazingly enough, there is also return fire. I think everyone is okay with this.

There we have it. extended contact of the feet and we have the creation of the word we know as "footsies". I myself think it may be possible to expound on the concept. I think we can derive other like words to describe other forms of contact. Example: the playing with your neighbor's fingers or maybe even holding hands could/should be called "handsies". Rubbing backs could in fact be called "backsies". I do believe that I have played shouldersies with a girl in a class or two.

This does actually stem off a story when I did play backsies with my roommate. It was very odd experience but the fact we called said happenstance backsies pretty much made our day. So, I guess...there you have it.

Negative Sleep

2006-02-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

"Never fight with an inanimate object."
--P.J. O'Rourke

He doesn't look like Gloria Gaynor

What one can do with a video camera. I do wish sometimes that I had a personal video camera. And also a movie making program on some sort of CPU so that I could concoct horrible scripts and choreography and waste time making movies that probably only I would think were funny. I could be okay with that. This came about because the roommates and I made a music video for an otherwise pretty lame ward shin-dig. There's nothing like a choreographed goofing off in front of a camera. With little tid bits of improv what have you. I thoroughly enjoyed helping out with the editing. Dang it!! Now I want to do that all the time. But alas, cannot be done. I need a copy of that video.

Then sometimes I start thinking what my parents were like in college. Was my dad one of those guys who would go into someone's apartment and steal all there shoes? Or would my mom hide in someone's closet for an hour and a half? Maybe my dad would hide under some balloons or newspaper in a corner and jump out at some unsuspecting fool? Yeah, that would be cool. I have heard stories that a couple of my uncles would catch some birds, hide them in there coats, go to a movie theater and let them out in the middle of a flick. +10 points. Everyone to their own imaginations.

The art of eavesdropping

Little bit about myself; I'm not all that much of a talker. Sure, I have my moments but doesn't everybody. In any given conversation, more than likely I will be the one that says the least unless you prefer to be mute. However, I've developed somewhat of an eavesdropping skill. I've learned to listen well to normal conversation. Also, the way my sense of humor is wired, I tend to catch the most odd words and phrases. Let me tell you, it's a lot of fun to pick up only a portion of the conversation. Things don't make sense and that is where I find things most entertaining. There are even times where I don't want to know the entirety of the subject. I enjoy that.

A perfect example of this happened to me a few days ago. Just walking by an apartment and I hear a female mention something about an "unattractive feature" of her arms. I stopped in my tracks. This is reason number one that all windows and doors must be shut if you don't desire anyone to overhear you. I of course had to go over what I had just heard and savor every second of it. I then invited myself in and had a good chat with said girls about what I had just heard. A very entertaining conversation. Differing opinions of course but a highly enjoyable conversation nonetheless.

One other thing too. Only hearing one side of a phone conversation can be incredibly funny. To the one on the phone, everything makes sense but everyone else who might be in earshot of said phonetalker. Who knows what kind of ideas we conjure up. I'm really okay with this.

Have a black and proud of it day

2006-02-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

"I only cuddle you."
--Absherificon

Saying it loud!!

First item of business is that one years ago tomorrow this blog was from the inner bowels of uh...probably my spleen. I don't know. I did most of my thinking with said organ about this time a year ago. Don't worry, lately I've done most of my thinking with my thyroid as of late. And let me tell you, it's been a good switch. Except for the fact that my neck has been hurting ever since.

Quiz the man and stick it to him, suckers!!

So I found this quiz that I made up about myself about two years ago not long ago. Let's see how many you can get right?

Get to know your neighbors in Apt. 3.5
How well do you know Felipe Sanchez?
Yes, you will be graded however, our opinions will
not change about you if you answer the questions incorrectly.
So don’t you worry about a thing.
Please write your answers on a separate piece of paper
and hand them to Felipe for grading.

1. What was the name of the spider that lived in Felipe’s vent?

a) Harry
b) Sparky
c) Zero
d) Chucky

2. Felipe got a black eye from what?

a) A softball thrown by a girl
b) A kick in the face in a soccer game
c) A fight with his older bro
d) Falling out of a tree

3. His favorite band is Weezer, what is his favorite song?

a) Say it Ain’t So
b) Buddy Holly
c) The Good Life
d) In the Garage

4. Of the following items, which was he not cut by?

a) Pizza crust
b) Cheese grader
c) Pinecone
d) A can of tomato paste

5. His math teacher Ms. Shannon told him to shave what?

a) His armpits
b) His legs
c) His head
d) One eyebrow and half his mustache

6. What food did Felipe learn to like in the mission?

a) Asparagus
b) Mushrooms
c) Onions
d) Chayote

7. Felipe apparently cannot remember what experience?

a) Falling down the stairs at his friends house
b) His first high school soccer game
due to a concussion
c) Hitting his head on the kitchen counter
d) Hitting his head on an air conditioner

8. What was Felipe’s favorite card game in Middle School?

a) Hearts
b) Solitaire
c) Magic: The Gathering
d) Jyhad

9. What game was Felipe playing when he broke his finger at age 7?

a) Baseball
b) Wall-Ball
c) Football
d) Soccer

10. Felipe always wore a piece of tape on his right hand for track meets,
what did he say what that piece of tape was?

a) His nicotine patch
b) His steroid patch
c) His focus patch
d) Just, “The Patch”

11. While working at Skipper’s, there was rumor about him stating what?

a) He was an illegal alien
b) Secretly going out with a co-worker
c) Stealing Clams
d) That he was on crack

12. Felipe got caught trespassing what place causing him to
get a ride home from the cops?

a) The local swimming pool
b) The movie theater
c) City Hall
d) The Armory

13. What was Felipe’s fastest 400m time ever?

a) 51.25 sec. FAT
b) 51.89 sec. FAT
c) 50.90 sec. HT
d) 51.10 sec. HT

14. How much did Felipe weigh when he was born?

a) 5 lbs. 10 oz.
b) 6 lbs. 4 oz.
c) 7 lbs. 8 oz.
d) 9 lbs. 0 oz.

15. Felipe was born Sep. 3, 1981 but at what time of day?

a) 11:45pm
b) 5:26am
c) 11:03am
d) 3:32pm

16. What name does he want to give his first son?

a) Andrew
b) Fidel
c) John
d) Rey

17. As a kid, Felipe wanted to be a what when he grew up? (If that ever happens)

a) Fireman
b) G.I. Joe
c) Spaceman
d) Stallion

18. These are the letters of his two middle names. Spell them.
TOiinartvrsiqluonneon. (hint: spell them is not the correct answer)

Um...
C:\>good luck_

I won pre-owned footwear and two bodies

2006-02-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

"Way to go boys, you're playing yesterdays tape."
--Phil Conners, Groundhogs Day

I gave birth to a tennis ball

First of all, I would like to apologize to those people who had to repeat yesterday several hundred thousand times just to make it to today. Hope you all got it taken care of. The there was that blinking green light driving down University Pkwy. I think it was trying to tell me that I should give the bayou some respect. I drove by and completely disregarded it for your information. That's what I thought!

Then there was that time where we had a Happy Pirate show that stayed on schedule. Spared no expense making fun of the first half host one Dr. Jones. That was fun. I think every word for Spelling Bee was made up. Acronyms were created and Vladimir has probably already taken over Utah county and Michigan. 'Bout time. And I am Sheryl Crows favorite mistake.

As a second time host to a show and a forever time amateur of the improv comedy, one is bound to learn something. Of course it took Dr. Jones and I about a year and a half to learn that one something. We did some experimenting. We discovered that we only lost a small percentage of audience this time around. I'm actually getting the hang of some of this stuff. At least I'm learning something. Another valuable lesson: some of us should never impersonate JHVO. In fact, most of us won't be able to do him justice. "Bing!!"

ranting and listening to I sleep in sacks of mint

I was talking to S who can longer stand her roommates A-D. I was also told how S went on horrible date E who had to pick up brother F on said date with friend G with potential beau H. I then discovered I haven't really done activity L since Dec. J but that's okay since having talked to man K about subjects P and Q but I still want to see persons A, M, N and now I think person O is out of her gord. Then I did have a good small talk with friend R and her friend T who's not caught up on subject U. I'm weirded out.

final thought: A tribute to the man who has saved my life many a time and has made the Happy Pirates rich in racial goodness. Ah yeah!!

Hello, my name is Easy

2006-02-01T13:40:00.000-07:00

"It was a very respectable speak-easy sir."
--Anthony Rossano, Oscar

Watch what you put on your nametag

So, as I'm doing some shopping [this will happen every now and again] I get some of the usuals. I'm done shopping. I go to the check out stand for 20 items or less so I cam pay electronic money and get myself going. The girl at the check out is nice enough to do her job. As an employee, she obviously has a nametag. I take a glance [because most people do] at the nametag. First word I saw was ""EASY". That's odd. Generally nobody names their kid Easy.

After taking another inconspicuous look or two I did notice that Easy was not her name. Her name was actually Jessica or something like that. But her printed name was nowhere near as prominent as the word Easy. The tag did have some sort of explanation going on but I didn't care to read it because I was too busy thinking that I thought her name was Easy.

There are plenty of things you should never name your kid. Easy is one of those names. In fact, I hope it's not even a name. Also, you should never name your kid after a vehicle. "Hello, my name is Dodge Ram."

This wug smells like megabyte

2006-01-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

She's got a pimp apartment!"
--Matt Duke

This goes out to those who still don't know how to pluralize wug

First of all, I would like to thank the linguistical theoretical isotopes of the uproarous type to create such a magnanomous concept and Ben for making it some kind of award.

Second, I would like to thank the Mexinadian Gov't for standing tall in times of hipocrism and sticking it to the man [formerly known as George Clooney].

Third, we should celebrate more often. About anything, so that way we can do some more jigs, hand out more points, give away more awards and just plain goof off some.

The programmatical