Beard of Celibacy

"You're shooting epsilons out of your butt!!"
--Krys

When will you celebrate Christmas?

No really, these titles do make sense. There are definitely stories behind these. I'll tell you when you're older. Basically for those of you who only know me through the blog this post is to let you know that all is good. I don't get out much but don't you worry, you all know why.

Things to do:

figure out school options and why the bayou is treating me the way it is
move into a new place
look into new employment opportunities
grow my beard of celibacy until mid-May then mid-June
go to St. Louis, MO
go home to LG, Ore.
love life

A Brand New Season

"I'll sing you something you won't forget,
For the first time I know, this is who I am"
--The Academy Is...

Isn't it about time?

The family: I need one. About right now. It is about time.

Taking Back January

"I'm under the assumption that I'm gonna be the one that's leaving you"
--I Am Fred Astaire, Taking Back Sunday

One Eighty by Winter

This time, January is going to listen to me. In January's past, I've let things take control of me. Unable to make things happen, do things my way. Always reacting, always at the mercy of someone or something else. Always complacent.

Not this time. This time I'm making something happen. This January, this year I'm making decisions. I will take control of my actions. I will provide. None of this "I'll just let life pass me by" crap. This is me taking January by the shirt collar and telling it in the face "I AM HERE TO STAY!" I'll even collect some toadies. Freckled ones with bright red hair! I will rule this month. HA!!

Now what to do with my four day weekend.....

practice

"I'll ripple your mother's....."
--K. Stockton

we were sent there

First of all to Teenie: Wouldn't you like to know, HA!

Second: There was a call for soccer practice tonight. I'm all over anytime I can get to play. Since we haven't had a game for nearing two weeks, Jared called so we could touch the ball and kick it around some. I tell you it was nice to run and somewhat try to get into some sort of shape. Possibly a triangle. The meeting place was in the SFH just inside the track on one side. Some lady then walks up and informs us that soccer is not permissable at the desired premises. She may as well have told us not to breathe. Anyways we strike up a conversation trying to sucker her into letting us play. She suggests that we try the IPF down the way. We agree, take some orange cones and head over. Turns out the place is dark and very locked. Jared knows the code to get in the back way through the men's bathroom and we break in.

It's relatively dark inside but we make do. Playing some sort of keep away game and we work on moving the ball around. Not bad. We're checking the doors every now and again. At one time there shows up a security guard to look inside. We of course freak out and run off to a corner. We gather all of our stuff and split soon after. What a nice little rush. We almost forgot the cones. No one caught us. Take that security! Had some good laughs and we're pumped for Thursdays game.

Little Ones

"I'm always up for a good scandal."
--Tiffany Jones

How I feel

Yesterday at work, I'm doing my own thing. I usually do that. I talk to a lot of people. -ish. Some days I feel like a digital recording. "Thank you for calling Burlington Coat Factory in Orem where we now offer cash back, this is Felipe, how may I help you?" All is going okay, the usual.

So, there I am and there are three females: one grandma, one mom and one little girl probably about five years old. Mom and grandma are going through the motions and the little girl starts talking to me about how she's going to go camping this weekend. She was all excited and telling me stuff. I was like "Hey, that sounds fun" and responding to her some. I even told her that if she was good, then she might see a shooting star. It was such a feel-good conversation. What innocence! What good times!! And then I thought to myself; I want to be a dad! No, really, I do. This first started while I was interacting with my niece a few months back. I just want to have nice, innocent conversations that you can really only have with kids. I would love to be some little ones greatest hero. I love interacting with the small ones. I almost never get the chance now.

Before I get to be a dad though, I have to deal with people [specifically women] around my age. And we all know what kind of luck I've had. But all will work out. Right now I'd just rather dream and let things happen. We know how I work. An all is good as of this moment. I have a few ideas. *devious smiles*

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

The Ghost of Meals to Come

"I am available until 4:00 Tuesday."
--Brian F.

Ready or not

First of all, yesterday was the commemoration of the day of my birth. Not bad. Generally I'm not one to patronize my birthday but if anyone asks I will tell. Nothing more. No bash or anything like that. Just good times with friends old and new.

Here I am in a new place, a new ward. Here I am beginning the new life of me. Here I am trying seperating my dependency on the old and integrating with the new. Here I am trying to be me and hoping I don't freak anyone out. Here I am. Wow.

If I haven't mentioned, I dig the new digs. Finally got some roommates. Still have a room to myself until an already purchased contract is again sold. Still need to hook up some electronics but all is good. Still debating about adding more music to the collection. However, "Rock, rock on" will probably get the most play anyway. Not all my stuff is transfered over. Need to figure out what to do with the other stereo and one TV. Thought the latter is being made well use of.

As for people, many things going on. I didn't stop by the old complex for a week. Some of the cats were on Flops' withdrawals. So they say. We had nice little chats. I had a dinner party with another good friend. How I am still friends with some of these people amazes me most everyday. Old roommate is doing alright. Very good friend should probably be coming in today. She called last night and I missed it. Sad day. My bro-in-law's little sister scored me some SpongeBob cupcakes. Another girl scored me some cake for the day of birth. Ooh.... And I helped move her stuff into her apartment. Meeting new people with style. Having a good time all around. And there's the traditional making fun of the third roommate. We have fun.

Just need to get things done now. Looking up and forward. And please go do good things.

Looking Forward

"Stay away from that Mexican Honkey's rear end!!"
--Tamsen Miller

I need a buddy

Where?


I'm going home. At least for a couple of days. I've got siblings and nieces and nephews there. I haven't seen many of these people from months to years. It'll be good to get out. I got to talk to some of them last night. The drive is long, the trip is short lasted but I do believe that all will be worth it. And Mom suggests that i have a riding buddy. I need to make some phone calls.

Transition

I discovered as of late that I'm in some sort of transition mode. I need change. The reason being is that I've become complacent. I don't get out as much as I would like to. I'm not really satisfied with my social life. Hence, I'm forcing myself to take some chances and making new friends. I'm moving to a place with so far no one I know. Dangerous? 'Tis true. Do I care? -ish. That really depends from what angle you ask that last question. I want to go beyond my comfort zone. Maybe I'll write more. Maybe good or bad things will happen. I don't know. We'll see what happens. And I love you all.

Where am I moving to you ask? Just here:

Job Offers

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
--Abe Lincoln

You can use me as a reference

Having worked at the Burlington Coat Factory for yon three months now, I must say it has been an overall good experience. I get to deal with a lot of weirdos, chumps and freaks. Freaks? I've had my fair share of what have yous in the business and I've been cranky the past couple of days because people think we're idiots and we're mostly not.

But, in all this craziness, I have been told several times by customers that I should get a raise, complimented on my speaking voice and I've even been offered at least two jobs. One lady gave me her business card and told me to call her so I could work in her office. A couple of days ago, one lady said I should go to Alaska and work for Cruise West. She even said I could use her as a reference [Matt Perry's mom I'll have you know]. There are even days where I consider becoming a radio personality. Might as well, 'twould be better than working for BYU [of course, that doesn't take much]. Maybe I should seriously consider some of these options. We'll see.

And, I hate my internet.

Negative Sleep

"Never fight with an inanimate object."
--P.J. O'Rourke

He doesn't look like Gloria Gaynor

What one can do with a video camera. I do wish sometimes that I had a personal video camera. And also a movie making program on some sort of CPU so that I could concoct horrible scripts and choreography and waste time making movies that probably only I would think were funny. I could be okay with that. This came about because the roommates and I made a music video for an otherwise pretty lame ward shin-dig. There's nothing like a choreographed goofing off in front of a camera. With little tid bits of improv what have you. I thoroughly enjoyed helping out with the editing. Dang it!! Now I want to do that all the time. But alas, cannot be done. I need a copy of that video.

Then sometimes I start thinking what my parents were like in college. Was my dad one of those guys who would go into someone's apartment and steal all there shoes? Or would my mom hide in someone's closet for an hour and a half? Maybe my dad would hide under some balloons or newspaper in a corner and jump out at some unsuspecting fool? Yeah, that would be cool. I have heard stories that a couple of my uncles would catch some birds, hide them in there coats, go to a movie theater and let them out in the middle of a flick. +10 points. Everyone to their own imaginations.

The art of eavesdropping

Little bit about myself; I'm not all that much of a talker. Sure, I have my moments but doesn't everybody. In any given conversation, more than likely I will be the one that says the least unless you prefer to be mute. However, I've developed somewhat of an eavesdropping skill. I've learned to listen well to normal conversation. Also, the way my sense of humor is wired, I tend to catch the most odd words and phrases. Let me tell you, it's a lot of fun to pick up only a portion of the conversation. Things don't make sense and that is where I find things most entertaining. There are even times where I don't want to know the entirety of the subject. I enjoy that.

A perfect example of this happened to me a few days ago. Just walking by an apartment and I hear a female mention something about an "unattractive feature" of her arms. I stopped in my tracks. This is reason number one that all windows and doors must be shut if you don't desire anyone to overhear you. I of course had to go over what I had just heard and savor every second of it. I then invited myself in and had a good chat with said girls about what I had just heard. A very entertaining conversation. Differing opinions of course but a highly enjoyable conversation nonetheless.

One other thing too. Only hearing one side of a phone conversation can be incredibly funny. To the one on the phone, everything makes sense but everyone else who might be in earshot of said phonetalker. Who knows what kind of ideas we conjure up. I'm really okay with this.

starting over 101

"I thought it through and my worst brings out the best in you"
-A Decade Under the Influence

"I wanted you for nothing more than hating you for what you were"
-Bonus Mosh pt. II
--Taking Back Sunday


Syllabus and course requirements for Section 2

In the words of Weezer, "The world has turned and left me here" once again I have found that looking up and making the best of things is the way to go. Change comes and has to be dealt with.

This course is designed to help you build strong physical, mental, emotional and spiritual character. You will be tested on how to cope with change, pain, indifference, awkwardness, miscommunication, rumors and bad timing. Life will randomly quiz you by punching you in the face. The number of quizzes and tests will be tentative and may or may not require mass amounts of preparation. Be sure take the necessarary time to adequately face the challenges to come. Doing so will increase your desire and ability to being happy.

There are no required texts for this course but it is recommended that some reading is done. A suggested reading would be the scriptures, one would be surprised what can be found in those books. Other readings may include e-mails or letters from good friends or family to help boost spirits when needed or desired.

Assignments: First and foremost, no hiding. Do not curl up in that corner and wallow in your pity and woes. This is not starting over. This is dwelling on the past. Avoid. A hearty and sincere smile will certainly lighten your burdens and also the burdens of others. Be open. Have a good good heart to heart chat with a friend or family member. Processing things vocally will bring things to a new light. New ideas and options to consider and evaluate will sprout for which you can better handle the up and coming challenges life has to offer. Compliment often and sincerely. Look for the good in peoples. You will be rewarded. Do your laundry in a timely fashion [just a recommendation]. Vary your activities. Basically a well rounded balance in all things will keep you as sane as you need to be. Goof off some. Relax. Enjoy what is nearby.

You will self evaluate yourself for your final grade. You will know what you got by the satisfaction you feel in your heart. This course is free of charge and can be taken as many times as you desire. In fact, this course will probably be taken constantly. Don't worry, you have help. Friends, family, prayer, HF and so forth. Just know, you are loved.

7100 calories

"They have a party to go to and it's not yours!--Emmy Sanchez

Considering, I think my Thanksgiving turned out rather well. You know seeing people like Grandma Sanchez, Pat & Alicia, Buttergirl and Dubins, Stooph and her girlfriend, Uncle Tony and his mustache and the likes. However, I mostly relaxed and just watch sort of everything and everyone do their own thing. I ended up eating dinner twice which I'm thoroughly okay with that. I listened to Tony play the guitar country western style. I was chastised by Alicia bor not being like Mikey and harassing the girls every spare second I had. You know how it goes.

Other weird stuff: I drew a picture of Tony's eyebrows in the Moleskine. I almost started liking New Age instrumental music [what the Vaccuum Conversation]. Making fun of Chase's word selection and phrasology. And Grandmas monkey pajamas and slippers. Classy.

Matsugi, you are missed. That really goes without saying. So weird not seeing you for a couple of days now. Also, I wish everyone a pleasant weekend with a safe and politically correct drive home. Ha!

Slow Down Grandma!!

"You'll let me know if anything exciting happens."--Grandma Sorensen

I am a firm believer that grandmas are allowed to say anything they want. You can't stop them, it's impossible!! Plus, they get away with it. However, I think I am able to see the inexplicable logistics of that. That's why I love Grandma. She'll say some pretty whack stuff and it's freaking hilarious. Story time:

Earlier this summer the roommates and I passed through the hometown [Manti, Utah] of my grandparents for a wedding. Of course I had to stop by the old Sorensen abode. There is absolutely no way not to be convinced into listening to at twelve billion stories and going out to the barn to see how far Grandpa is on the plane. Yeah, Grandpa is building a plane. My favorite story that Grandma told was the one about a turkey she raised not too long ago [per say] and that it hated her. It just happened to be the most onery turkey EVER!! They had a few spats, never agreed on anything and the stupid turkey pecked Grandma! Filthy turk!! So what does Grandma decide to do? Cut it's head off and cook it for dinner. I think she described it as the "toughest turkey dinner ever eaten." I think they racked a cumulative total of one billion points from the roommates. Rightfully so.

This past Saturday I went down again to Manti for an Eagle Court of Honor for my cousin, this time with Matsugi. We get to the place and I see and say hi to Uncle Kenny and the likes. We're invited to partake of some dessert type goodness and whilst doing that Grandma sneaks up from behind and jumps me.

Grandma: "Why haven't you given me a hug yet?"

Me: "Well, uh..."

Grandma: "Didn't you even look for us?"

Me: "Yes, I...."

Grandma: "Don't you even love us anymore?"

Me: "Grandma!!"

Yup, that's Grandma. Of course I was forgiven. She then proceeded to to say, "Matsugi, do you want to hear stories about Flops?" Matsugi consented and really, what could I do to stop them? Yeah...I know.

This time in Manti we got to walk around the Grandparents property. Checked out the plane in the barn, the pond in back and even the outhouse. The outhouse was quite impressive. Grandpa and Grandma thoroughly enjoyed a nice little visit. They go off on their stories and everything's all good. We get caught up on all the cousin gossip, listen rants on about lawyers [sorry you had to hear about that one Matsugi] and without fail Grandma says a few things that are completely absurd. One in particular where I think, wow, thanks for that implication. But the trip was much enjoyed and well worth it.

So nice to see some of the fam. Uncle Kenny had a few bad jokes, spoke Japanese to Matsugi and overall had a good time. But what made my night was the receival of Care Bears the Movie. Matsugi, I award you two billion points. You're great! And Grandma, you're really weird.

Best ECON question ever

"We don't want any of you to disintegrate."--Greta

So when I was taking me Economics test yesterday I stumbles across question 32 which stated thus following:

32. What's the best example of a public good?

A. Parking lot at a mall
B. [I don't recall what B was, no matter]
C. Protection for U.S. Air Space
D. Money
E. A life-size replica of Burt Reynolds

I just about busted up laughing. That made my day up to that point. It was a good end to the time up on campus.

I'm sprouting

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance.
The wise grows it under his feet."
--James Oppenheim

Experience:

A couple of weeks ago I'm walking to campus. Off to the side there's that hill type thing and whatnot where I see about four or so youngsters no older than five years of age rolling down said and giggling it up. I watched and enjoyed the splendor of the scene with some sort of massive smile on my face. I pass by the guardians who take notice of my observance and the man says to me "Don't you miss that?"

My reply: "Oh, so much."

The joys of frolicking around wherever possible were endless. Now I have to take care of school, work and pay for things like foodstuffs. My frolicking is much less frequent but the joys are still endless. But I also find joys in many other things now. I've had to learn this, I think it's some sort of skill. It's possible that you could say that I've built character. Like everyone else, I've built character the hard way. In fact, I don't think one can build character the easy way [is there an easy way? Probably not]. Learning unexplainable stuff is no walk in the park. Actually, it's no fun. But at least I grow up and become a little more sturdy. But growing means you probably did something to provoke that. Something very more than likely on the un-kosher side of the line. Or maybe you discover something that you must do or must discontinue doing. All of which are very difficult to deal with. Mostly because we end up beating ourselves up mentally until we're emotional basket-cases. Why does this have to happen? I don't know, but it seems unbearably necessary. I'm learning to deal with it.

Yesterday I found myself thinking on the words of Calvin, "Every time I've built character I've regretted it." The panel came to mind during work and it stuck. Somehow I found me inside that quote. I understood something about myself that just screamed at me. I've done a lot of things these past 24 years. Some good, some creepy and some well...yeah. And the thought came:

"I regret the act but not the consequences."

It was like getting hit with a barrel of bricks. There are a few things that I will never do again but what I've learned because of the consequences I consider invaluable. I realize now that I can't do anything I want. Unless of course I want to destroy my soul but there are a few people around here who want me to keep my soul. Heck, everyone, please keep your souls!! I am sprouting, I am growing up.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God?
Calvin: Someone's out to get me!

Shut up Billy Corgan!!

"Give a cadaver an aspirin and see if it feels better."--Prof. Pope

This past weekend was kind of crazy. Most weekends are almost always something else but this one a little more so. So, as you may already know, I happened to lose my Moleskine on Friday. There was some freaking out and what have you. I'm sure that most people would feel rather funky if two months of their life had disappeared. Just so happens that having left contact information in the Moleskine someone had found it and had emailed me. Got that email Saturday night. I was so very happy. I got it back today. Good things do happen.

Story time: So I had dropped my Moleskine sometime during my Political Science 150 [Comparative Governments] class. I didn't notice. During Math 112 is when the discovery was made that I was missing said Moleskine. Once again with the freaking out part. I have my Political Science 170 [Intro to International Relations] in the same room as my PS 150 class. I looked for it some. Not there. Now the thing was, the person who found it, was a PS 170 TA and found it on the podium just after that class had ended. So my Moleskine was in that classroom for about four hours before she picked it up. I am guessing that it went through at least one other persons hands to get to the podium so on. Then I get the email on Saturday night. Monday all is returned. Good deal.

You could say that I am a little more prepared for loss. I'm just trying to take care of myself. Now I just need to take care of a lot of homework. And we all know that homework is no fun at all. Drat!!

Fire-dancer lost

"Standing in front of the mirror to sketch in this strip, I was glad I work in the privacy of my own home."--Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes Tenth Anniversary Book, p. 146

So, over the past year and some, I have gotten into journal writing. I thank my very good friend JHVO for starting me on the habit. The thing that helps incredibly is the small little notebook that I am able to carry around anywhere I go. These notebooks are courtesy of none other than Moleskine [check the link on the sidebar to the left]. I value my 'skines very much. I've been writing in one since 11 July, 2004. About every four months I finish one and start out new. Yesterday however, I lost no. 4. Slipped out of my pocket somewhere between Political Science 150 prior to Calculus. Two months of my life have just disappeared somewhere on campus. Talk about feeling a void. I was wiggin' out.

As worried as I was I have found peace. A couple of things that helped me out. I read an article of the New York Times that lifted my soul. And here's a link to a site that is mentioned in said article. Once again, inspiration can be found in the weirdest of places. Another site.

I know that the Moleskine cannot be replaced. I hope it will be refound in my presence. Having left my name, address and phone number I still have hope it will be returned. Though I can't expect its return. Having dwelled on this for over 12 hours now, I am feeling much better. A half used notebook will find itself in the hands of someone I don't know at all. What's wrong with that? Nothing. My thoughts, experiences, quotes from others and opinions are written down in that thing. Someone will get to know me through that Moleskine. I'm okay with that.

Why do we write? I write to explain me to myself. To help discover who I am. I like to keep track of myself and my thoughts. It's second nature to me now. I write not to keep things hidden. I write to share who I am. These books will eventually go to the people I love. Somehow, I will become real in the imaginations of those people. I might influence them as a friend. We have the ability to reach out to who knows how many people. I write to leave myself behind. I will be imagined as me. I cannot ask for anything else.

To those who write: You will be found.

I must wait my turn

"I hope to risk everything for what is right."--William Hurt, The Village

Tonight I am unable to write my thoughts down in my journal. I am calm. It is so nice to read someone else's perspective. I hope and pray for what is right. Tonight, someone else has the pen.

Goin' to TOWN!!

"That's what I go for, scoring....[awkward pause]. Points I mean."--Christine

Sorry. 'Tis been awhile. There was about two or three times these past 30 days in which I've tried to blog but the connection each time got screwy and I lost what I wrote. Not so enjoyable I tell you. And doing things twice is not my favorite activity. But what can you do? [shut up, I know]

This past month I've had some crazy ups and downs. Mostly just what the heck I so desire in life. I did take a road trip to Reno which helped a whole heap. So good to get out of town and see something different. Car troubles were something else though. Cars are expensive. Couldn't Harrison Ford or someone rich give me a billion dollars or something, I would really like that.

The comedy troupe is still quite joyous. We had our first public show not too long ago. It turned out quite well. I would like to do that more often. Except for the part in which one of the players jacks their knee. But all is well. We got her ice cream.

Work is lazy and dumb. I got my raise. I am currently looking for another job because I hate custodial forever and I gots an interview to be a referee. That's right up my alley. I would like that a lot.

Now for the goin' to town part. This started out Tuesday afternoon when I was doing laundry. I cleaned out my closet drawers by throwing away some really worn out clothing and putting other stuff in storage [hint: underneath my bed]. I organized everything there and in my closet. The closet door actually closes which hasn't happened for several months I do believe. Then last night I went to town on my dresser. I trashed pretty much everything I don't need. I can see my floor. My bed is made. I feel dang good. I've started over this week. Kick that rock!! I'm signing out. Love you all.

Refreshed, like unto feeding chickens

"Call Cindy, and we're staying at your mom's place!"--benja

So after taking three tests this week, being in charge of several different activities, having officials checking out how well I'm doing at work, I was feeling pretty stressed. And the fact that almost the entirety of my intramural soccer team decided to ditch me, I was getting rather down on myself. So hence, Friday morn rolls along and while at work, I was thinking, "Self, you know, you're in kind of a rut. You need a change of scenery and what have you." And that's when the idea struck me. I called up my cousin as soon as I had the chance and he let me stay at his place for the night. I got myself out of town. That was the plan, [get her].

As much as I love where I live and who I live with, sometimes, I just need to get out and escape. Now don't get me wrong! I certainly don't live in Absolom or anything like that, it's just that one needs to go somewhere or do something that's not part of the daily grind. And that's exactly what I did.

We hardly did anything at all but I woke up this morning feeling like I could take on the world. My cousin lives about an hour and half drive away from me and ten minutes further live the grandparents. So this morning I had breakfast with G & G Sorensen. Grandma of course had to show me some of the stuff she had going on and also had me go with Grandpa to feed the chickens. That was rather quite fun.

After I got back to my place I just chilled with some old friends. Good times indeed. There was kickball, talent show [which consisted of a leopard skin suit], guitars unplugged and seeing extended family all today. Man, it was good. Plus, Bucknell beat Kansas. I was all over that and it made my day even better. And now it's just time to settle down and relax. Mmmm....Reese's and Mountain Dew. The latter does the body.....sumpin' else? You are great! And know this, I love you all.