Looking Forward

"Stay away from that Mexican Honkey's rear end!!"
--Tamsen Miller

I need a buddy

Where?


I'm going home. At least for a couple of days. I've got siblings and nieces and nephews there. I haven't seen many of these people from months to years. It'll be good to get out. I got to talk to some of them last night. The drive is long, the trip is short lasted but I do believe that all will be worth it. And Mom suggests that i have a riding buddy. I need to make some phone calls.

Transition

I discovered as of late that I'm in some sort of transition mode. I need change. The reason being is that I've become complacent. I don't get out as much as I would like to. I'm not really satisfied with my social life. Hence, I'm forcing myself to take some chances and making new friends. I'm moving to a place with so far no one I know. Dangerous? 'Tis true. Do I care? -ish. That really depends from what angle you ask that last question. I want to go beyond my comfort zone. Maybe I'll write more. Maybe good or bad things will happen. I don't know. We'll see what happens. And I love you all.

Where am I moving to you ask? Just here:

You are quite attractive

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there"
--Josh Billings

Means to an end

I think this is a great story but I need to give some background of the inner workings of my job for understanding. So hence: Generally work isn't all that exciting. Like most jobs, there are a lot of things that have to be done in a certain order of events. When someone comes in to return an item or something we cashiers need what we call a "keyturn". This consists of us using the scanner to scan the barcode on the back of the manager's name badge. This happens all the time. So, over time we start using phrases like "Can I borrow your authority?" or "I need to scan you" and various other forms of the those questions and/or demands.

Storytime: One attractive female was returning an item without a receipt which requires an extra keyturn of an upper level manager [about level 40]. Amber came to my rescue to bag the merchandise that the attractive young female was also buying. I told Amber what was up and did my thing. After typing in a few numbers and pressing enter and tab in the necessary order it was time for me to get a keyturn from Amber. So I turn to Amber who is right behind me and I say, "Can I scan you?". Amber pulls out her badge and I scan. Whilst while we hear "Did you just ask if you could scan me?" Apparently said attractive female thought I was talking to her. Amber said the female was slightly taken aback and a bit giddy. We had to let her down. The whole happenstance was quite humorous. Good day indeed.

And why am I not allowed such appearances?

"Obviously, it makes it that much more difficult for the police when the crimes are reforted after the event."
--Det. Sgt. Doug Marshall [UK]

There's nothing wrong with down



So right now, my hair is getting to the rather lengthy stage. I believe it's already been stated that I have thick hair, that it only grows in an upward direction and that it can only be cut with a lawn mower and like jokes. Generally, my hair sticks out. Peoples get all crazy about the "fro". Me? I'm mostly lazy and I don't really do much of anything and hence it's always on the slightly messy side. That's how it goes.

So, I combed it down and parted it a couple of nights ago. I look quite different or so I've been told. I went over to see a friend who basically couldn't handle what I did. She pretty much said unto me that it needed to be fro'd out and tried to "fix" it. It really bothered her. Eh... Most of the time my hair is unable to be parted. I like to switch it up now and again. I see nothing wrong with that.

The one problem that I've had if the hair is combed down: my sideburns curl into my ear. And it tickles. I just think I need to get used to it. I'm okay with that for right now.

Congratulations!!!

"Don't tamper with that!"
--BCF customer

You're an instant target!!

No offense or anything, if you're angry, I and probably a lot more people are going to make fun of you. Let's get it straight, if you're angry, people are going to ridicule you. And I wouldn't be surprised if you do the same. Story:

There was this man a couple of days ago whom I told to wait a little bit longer to ring him up because there was another lady who had been waiting for much longer than he had at the time. To this he retorted "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to catch you at a bad time!" in a rather snappy voice. He apologized several times when I checked hime out. I wondered if I sounded angry and my supervisor said no. Eh... He said the above quote when I pointed to the little pay screen and tried to explain what needed to happen next. He didn't want me near the thing. He left me scratching my head in wonder when he had finally gone and paid. Almost immediately afterwards, at least two co-workers started quoting him in a mild manner of ridicule. That's when lightning struck my brain. People are humorous when they're angry. Part of them comes out and says and does some really weird stuff. And it becomes really funny sometimes.

Here's another example. There was this kid that hung around my group of friends for awhile in high school. On one occasion he was so enfuriated that he started talking in third person. We could hardly take hime seriously. There are certainly times when it takes every molecule possible to hold back your laughter. Of course we were also jerks in high school. But there are some people who, when angry, are just insant targets for ridicule. And many people will jump at the chance to make fun. And most of us aren't sorry. Too bad.

People don't read

At work I've discovered that there are a lot of people who don't read. Either that or they're so eager to sign anything that they're bound to sign their life away. The instructions on the touch pad are easy enought that if you stand back, wait and read their is no confusion. You always confirm the amount to pay before you sign. About 40% of my customers fail to read and start signing on that screen. It's pathetic. Oh, and even though it's printed on the receipt, close to no one reads the return policy. I'm sorry, you got jacked. Oh well.

Job Offers

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
--Abe Lincoln

You can use me as a reference

Having worked at the Burlington Coat Factory for yon three months now, I must say it has been an overall good experience. I get to deal with a lot of weirdos, chumps and freaks. Freaks? I've had my fair share of what have yous in the business and I've been cranky the past couple of days because people think we're idiots and we're mostly not.

But, in all this craziness, I have been told several times by customers that I should get a raise, complimented on my speaking voice and I've even been offered at least two jobs. One lady gave me her business card and told me to call her so I could work in her office. A couple of days ago, one lady said I should go to Alaska and work for Cruise West. She even said I could use her as a reference [Matt Perry's mom I'll have you know]. There are even days where I consider becoming a radio personality. Might as well, 'twould be better than working for BYU [of course, that doesn't take much]. Maybe I should seriously consider some of these options. We'll see.

And, I hate my internet.

Grandma 'fros

"Your knickers are falling down granny."
--Kersina Miller

They come in blue and purple!!

If you take notice long enough, you'll find these nice old ladies with the greatest afros you could ever imagine. I, working at a cheaper priced department store, get to see all kinds of stuff. This will include the dirtiest mullets you've ever seen, bullets [what I consider a cross between a bowl cut and a mullet], Señor Cardgage comb-overs and my personal favorite, grandmas with purple afros.

There are these old ladies with this amazing hair. This impressive mass of hair on average sticking out at least 3 inches from the scalp. Most common colors are gray, blue and purple. I'm not allowed to have such hair, but the grandmas can pull it off. How is this possible? I don't know, but I do think it's still pretty cool.

When I'm old, I'm shaving my head. That's it.

possible routine

"License never replace eyes, ears or brain."
--Mr. Miyagi, Karate Kid

get things done in your hometown

Now, it may be possible that you're from a small town. I'm from a small-ish town. Every place is different, we know that. Then we have towns that every makes fun of. My cousins do happen to be from Kenilworth, UT. Ever hear of it? Not many people have. It has the population of sagebrush and garbage dump. It's about three miles east of Helper. Like that helps much.

But the thing is that often times, some things need to get fixed in a town. Maybe there's a building that needs to get torn down and replaced. Or there's a sign that's all kinds of ghetto. I don't know, something that when you see it, you get the shivers. Think the following. Try it, I dare you. Sometimes, things just need to get fixed though they've probably been ignored for the past several days, months and/or years. Hello, Miller apartments. And sometimes the only way or time that things might get fixed, is when said thing is in absolute disarray or destroyed.

My point is thus: If you want things to fixed, you might have to cause some ruckus and get things destroyed. Or at least cause some decent amount of damage. When you do that, you're bound to attract attention to what needs to be fixed. I've done this before though, not intentionally for fixing up Kenilworth.

Here are the examples:

There's my cousin B-Joe who had decided to sit himself on top the Kenilworth sign as you head into said municipal. Nothing wrong with that of course. It's not too hard to get up there. While upon said municipal sign cousin Jeremy [driving his illustrious 'I am from the middle of butt-nowhere' truck] proceeds to drive into the sign while his little brother was still atop. B-Joe didn't fall and no one was hurt, but the sign was definitly off center. I come back the next day, and the sign is gone. We all know why. I come back next year and they have a new sign up. 'Bout time.

Example #2: In the said same municipal of Kenilworth, the boys and I causing a little bit of ruckus. We were doing something called the "Floating Newspaper Trick" which consists of a newspaper, some thread and two reflector posts on either side of the road. Cars stop and people check it out. We few trouble-makers are either hiding in a nearby tree [Mikey and I] or in some sagebrush [Andy and B-Joe]. This is all good fun, correct? Correct. Now, there came a point where I had to use some indoor plumbing. I also pick up cousin Bubba [not his real name but we call him that anyway]. Upon our return to the place of wreaking small amounts of trouble we get word from their neighbors that a car went into the ditch. We panic, of course. Apparantly, some grandma-type lady had stopped, observed the newspaper in front of her never exiting the car, backed up and tried to go around. This wouldn't be so bad but the fact that there was a ditch on both sides of the road at that point, grandma fell in. She couldn't get out of the car. Peoples came up and helped her out. A cop showed up. Andy and B-Joe came off from the side claiming to be looking for a black labrador. Bubba gives the old lady a hug. We go home as all the neighbors are trying trying to get the car up and out. So, we're in the house talking and what have you about the incidents of the day and/or night when we realize we haven't seen hide nor hair of Mikey. We don't worry or look for him, just wonder where the blazes he is at the time. About an hour or two later he shows up and we inquire of his whereabouts. Turns out he was still in the tree above the grandma lady the entire time. At least three hours. Poor sap. Good times. I come back a year or two later and notice that the ditches on the sides of the road had been filled during my absence. So, in essence, we've done a lot of good for the town.

The point is, if something needs to get done, do a little destruction. You'll be amazed at what that does. Sidenote: I don't ever plan on doing these things again.

Bonus Mosh pt. II

"I love my Grandma, she's very...mean!"
--BJC

I'm bound to come around about

Ground Control to Major Tom

"I never said most of the things I said."
--Yogi Berra

Space Oddity

I am Apollo 13. B is Apollo 12. J is the Challenger. P never left space camp. Person Q offered P and I food out of the blue. We think because she got stuck with dork D. I am also glad to know that person M is in ward F with us whose roommate C is dating person N who gives me the willies X. Plus, person C use the term "little brown seed" during act T. We almost peed pants Y because of said "little brown seed". We thought it that funny. Then there was person E who apparently can't tell the difference between ethnicities W and H. How? I think I found place G to live in during semester K. Good times.

Online Again!!

"I give you credit as an 'I have balls' moment"
--Peter Decker

Bookshelf=Desk

Well, well, I am online again!! I am in my new place finally. Moved in on Monday. Got everything I needed [still missing two of my towels though]. I can dig the joint. The set up is pretty sweet though I don't many people outside of my apartment as of yet. Oh well. But I am blasting all the 80's and Disney music I have including such hits as "Kiss the Girl" and "She Blinded Me With Science". Got the Jolly Roger and the Yoda poster up. Things will be quite cozy once everything gets off the floor and organized. That'll happen soon enough. Things are much different but also much needed. This was a good move.

Dinner

So, Tuesday night rolls around. I get off at work. I had the closing shift, with which I dealt with no back-up cashiers and some wierdos. Other than that not bad. I'm driving home and it's kind of late and I'm hungry. I didn't feel like cooking so I decided to go through the drive-through at the KFC. I get the food in a semi-orderly manner and drive home, all is normal. Halfway through my meal I take a look at the bag and notice something rather bizarre. In neat penmanship is written, "Kayla [phone number] call me". I was taken aback but laughed aloud. This has never happened to me before. I scored a girls number at a KFC drive-through. I could be that cool. So I gave a call later that night. Good chat. We shared a few laughs. Man, that was rad.