Almost as good as a handlebar mustache...

"Tan fat looks better than white fat."
--BCF customer

...okay, probably better


Five Movies You Can Watch Over and Over:
1. Ghostbusters
2. Clue
3. Private Eyes
4. Oscar
5. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Five embarrassing Songs that You Know All the Words To:
1. Race Car Ya-Yas by Cake
2. Wild Wild West by Escape Club
3. Territorial Pissings by Nirvana [not hard, it's mostly screaming]
4. Just a Girl by No Doubt
5. We Will Become Silhouettes by Postal Service

Five Memorable Halloween Costumes:
1. Clown [age young]
2. Puppy [age younger]
3. Luigi [age 8]
4. Secret Service [age 23]
5. Jawa [ages 16 and 24]

Five Celebrities You Believe May Secretly be Alien:
1. Tim Curry
2. Charlton Heston
3. Pauly Shore
4. Fred Savage
5. Jeff Goldblum

Five Occupations that You Know You Could Never Do:
1. Social Worker
2. Student Counselor
3. Mortician [I'm creepy enough already]
4. Christopher Walken
5. Hunter Gatherer

Five Books You've Recently Read Outside of Schoolwork:
1. Lost World by Michael Crichton
2. High School yearbook [probably not a good idea, those people are still on crack]
3. Filthy Potter 6
4. Instruction Manual to my microphone
5. Various words of Various prophets slash apostles

Five Ways to Perfectly Spend an Afternoon:
1. Playing improv games with buddies/friends
2. Making or editing videos/movies
3. Goofing off with great friend/s
4. Napping in a hammock
5. You suggest something

Five Lines You Blatantly Stole From a Movie, TV, a Commercial, or Song:
1. "Good Work."--Whistler, Sneakers
2. "Yes it's true..."--Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
3. "Pbthbht"--Mrs. White, Clue
4. "...a treasure trove of linguistic anamolies."--Dr. Poole, Oscar
5. "Stay on target! Stay on Target!"--X-winger, A New Hope

Not Your 5 Favorite Foods, But the 5 You're Most Likely Eating:
1. Hamburger Helper
2. Quesadillas with the best cheese ever
3. Take 5
4. Doritos
5. Hot Pockets

5 People who should do this:
1. Doctor Jones
2. Doctress Jones
3. Several Almonds
4. Probes
5. Sly Stallone

And I was happy to get it

"Settle down cheese lips!!"
--Prof. Gaskill

Really, I just wanted to give him a snuggle

So, in my last soccer game [this was about a week ago] I managed to get a yellow card. This is only the second one I have ever received after playing soccer since the age of late 14. I did nothing that I haven't done before. I just grabbed on to a guy to slow the man down. Okay, so I held on a little longer than I should have. I've done stuff like that before but have never gotten a card for it. Only this time it was already my second foul of the night. I deserved to get called. My opinion was that I probably shouldn't have received said yellow card. I've actually gotten away with worse. Fouls are basically an opinion. At least, that's my view on things. Eh...

Generally when a card is pulled, the one receiving it puts on quite the spectacle shouting out that the call was lame. I was just like "eh...oh well," and then I was told to sit out for the next two minutes. Other teammates asked what I did and I told them that I held on to his tummy. "Oh, like you were tickling him?" "Yeah, I just wanted a cuddle." So in other words, I was having fun.

Afterwards, I told the refs that they did a job well done. The one gave me the card said I was a good sport and was surprised that I didn't argue the call or anything. He said it was the first time he's ever really had somebody be okay with the call. I myself having been a referee know what it's like to be on their side. He then congratulated me for being a good sport.

I got a yellow card and I'm okay with it.

Ingredient of the Day: Methylcelullose

"If Al Gore invented the internet, I invented the spellcheck."
--Dan Quayle

PC Slimfast is now in the house!

Things are going much better. I've been wanting to blog on several things but have been entirely too lazy to do anything about it. I guess you could say I'm sorry. Oh well. Anyways, I do need to pep things up because the last post was rather bitter. And, I'm not that bitter anymore. The apartment got cleaned up. Things are much more organized. Yeah, good times.

Last Saturday I went to a Harry Potter party. We watched the number 4. Not bad. The people were good. The movie was alright. We did have some riotous times in the place. Oh, then there was that quidditch game on the ceiling fan. The quaffle lost. They also had foods of of Hogwarts style. All in all, good times. Very impressive indeed. All the while I didn't even make a reference to Jackson Hole to Aimee. Though I wanted to several times. Those people are great.

Big News: I have a compy. It's name is PC Slimfast. It's one of the greatest things ever. Though, it doesn't have internet capabilities yet, it will soon and hence, things will be splendid. However, I have put in about 1.64 gigs of music on there. Now I can listen to a variety of tunes. Plus, there is also that one in eight chance that a Weezer song is boung to play. Yeah, those were the first songs to go on. What did you expect? Yay!! I have my own compy! Life is grand.

Other stuff I wanted to blog but will probably never make it

Colors of the Day: Wisteria and Tarrogan
The conversation that one person finds fecal matter funny
Keiths dad is a pimp
the crazy amount of people I saw on campus today and actually knew
Ingredients of the day: methylcelullose and glycerol ester of wood rosin
eating 9 crackers in 2.5 mins.
yup

The Inner Destruction of Apt. 4

"I've got issues with me destroying the world and all."
--Randy Savage

What can you promise and/or offer me?

First: I don't what has happened. The apartment is trash. This place is now a never-ending mess. I really have no idea what is living inside the fridge or sink. Whatever exists in either of those places makes my eyes twitch and my stomach churn. I fear those places now. Every time I open the fridge my knees go weak. I'm certainly not in love but who knows about that fridge. The living room is a disaster. I don't know where most of this stuff comes from. The front area is pretty much a cross between Mt. Saint Helens and Trenoble to put it lightly. So, I'm feaking out. I've been wanting to rant and rave for quite some time now and it feels good. Thanks.

Second: I had two people ask me to vote for them for the BYUSA presidency. "Do it as a personal favor for me?" That's pretty much what I got out of them. Now, why should I do this for you? What do you have to offer me? I mean, BYUSA president is the most useless post ever. As far as I know, they don't do anything important. Yay, you plan on campus activities that I never go to. You platform ideas will never happen. It's like you have a house to power with electricity and can only provide 10,000 ohms. Good for you. Plus, I am absolutely not influenced by you. Completely unaffected. The only time I hear about you is during mid-march when voting is going on, other than that, you interest me as much as I desire ipecac syrup. So have fun with your conquest.

What's your favorite disease?

"You look more like a bulemic to me."
--Professor Gaskill

I prefer hepatitis

Now, what do you do? I've been living at this joint for quite some time now. I think it's now around 1000 days. That's nearing three years. As much as I love the place, a brother has to leave.

I look back and think to myself, the miller is a good place and I've enjoyed my time here, but I need change. And to tell you the truth, I'm excited about it. I made the decision awhile ago and I'm sticking to it. And it's about time.

There have been several people that have told me that I needed to get out of there much earlier. There are a few others that still want me to stay. Some have asked me, "what would the miller be like without Felipe?" My response is that it existed before I was ever here. The place will still exist after. I seriously don't think anyone will set fire to the place after I leave. I won't. I'm not a big fan of arson. Things will be different. That's to be expected.

This leads me to a kind of related story. I was talking to a friendgirl of mine right after class explaining my intentions of moving and how it was definite. And I've told several people that I've stayed at the Miller for several years. These people often ask why I've stayed so long. Miller doesn't really offer a whole lot. So I said to one friendgirl today that the Miller for many people is like their favorite disease. It is mine. I said, "I prefer hepatitis over gonarrhea." For a lot of people, you stick to what you're familiar with. I've wanted to move out before but a few little details have made me stay. Really, the best way I can explain why the lengthy stay is to go to some website. Sometimes, that's just the way it is.

One last list:
I won't miss the carbonated milk
I won't miss the parking lot for a front yard
I won't miss the millerization of everything
won't miss the creepy cleaning check lady
won't miss the psycho drama from over-active people
I'm done with guilt trips to get people to pointless and entirely lame activities
I will miss many friends
goodbye nasty carpet

Michelle says I lost that twitch in my eye

"We are who we choose to be."
--Green Goblin, Spiderman 1

disappearing act

I pretty much had this thought last night. Awhile ago one of my old friends said that I lost that certain twitch in my eye. Apparently it's not quite as screepy as it used to be. Well, I've change in these past two years. I think all of us have, unless you are Jack Nicholson which makes you always creepy. Now the thing is that I look back and see how I've changed. I also see how other people have changed. I wonder how things have become like this, what exactly are they now and how things will pro or regress. Believe you me, it kind of shakes your soul to think about this.

My point is thus; I think I've lost touch with certain people. They just seem foreign to me now. And that's really sad to me. I vaguely remember the friendships that we used to have and many of the happenstances that we've shared. How did we manage that? I trusted you with most everything. Why do you and everyone in your apartment think I'm lying when I say "You're beautiful," instead of "hello"? Why is it that I like you best when you're agitated at someone else? What keeps us from the then and now? I don't know.

I see friends from then and friends from now. They're different people. Not complete opposites but different nonetheless. Have we developed in so many individual directions to the point that we've become foreign to each other? I think that's what happened. We have our influences and we have our choices. What to we do? Do we shut some people off? Do we take the highway to one persons personality and their circle of friends? Do we become reclusive and let nothing out? Does everyone know my soul?

The question is: Can we still allow you and I to influence each other? Maybe.

not too different than footsies

"This would be a perfect moment if I didn't have to pee."
--Jamie Probert

playing backsies is very weird

We all the know concept of footsies. Imagine the following:

Brando and Mel are on their fifth date. Things have been going well. Neither of them are sure how to make the next move. But, with the coaxing of their good mutual friend [bénxa] they know something is going to happen. Now it's just a matter of them deciding when and how. So, there you have the two just sitting next to each other at the semi clean table that's supposed to be used for eating. There's blushing on both sides and we know why. Then all of sudden, there's some movement of feet and and we have extended contact of podiatry or chiropody. Amazingly enough, there is also return fire. I think everyone is okay with this.

There we have it. extended contact of the feet and we have the creation of the word we know as "footsies". I myself think it may be possible to expound on the concept. I think we can derive other like words to describe other forms of contact. Example: the playing with your neighbor's fingers or maybe even holding hands could/should be called "handsies". Rubbing backs could in fact be called "backsies". I do believe that I have played shouldersies with a girl in a class or two.

This does actually stem off a story when I did play backsies with my roommate. It was very odd experience but the fact we called said happenstance backsies pretty much made our day. So, I guess...there you have it.

Negative Sleep

"Never fight with an inanimate object."
--P.J. O'Rourke

He doesn't look like Gloria Gaynor

What one can do with a video camera. I do wish sometimes that I had a personal video camera. And also a movie making program on some sort of CPU so that I could concoct horrible scripts and choreography and waste time making movies that probably only I would think were funny. I could be okay with that. This came about because the roommates and I made a music video for an otherwise pretty lame ward shin-dig. There's nothing like a choreographed goofing off in front of a camera. With little tid bits of improv what have you. I thoroughly enjoyed helping out with the editing. Dang it!! Now I want to do that all the time. But alas, cannot be done. I need a copy of that video.

Then sometimes I start thinking what my parents were like in college. Was my dad one of those guys who would go into someone's apartment and steal all there shoes? Or would my mom hide in someone's closet for an hour and a half? Maybe my dad would hide under some balloons or newspaper in a corner and jump out at some unsuspecting fool? Yeah, that would be cool. I have heard stories that a couple of my uncles would catch some birds, hide them in there coats, go to a movie theater and let them out in the middle of a flick. +10 points. Everyone to their own imaginations.

The art of eavesdropping

Little bit about myself; I'm not all that much of a talker. Sure, I have my moments but doesn't everybody. In any given conversation, more than likely I will be the one that says the least unless you prefer to be mute. However, I've developed somewhat of an eavesdropping skill. I've learned to listen well to normal conversation. Also, the way my sense of humor is wired, I tend to catch the most odd words and phrases. Let me tell you, it's a lot of fun to pick up only a portion of the conversation. Things don't make sense and that is where I find things most entertaining. There are even times where I don't want to know the entirety of the subject. I enjoy that.

A perfect example of this happened to me a few days ago. Just walking by an apartment and I hear a female mention something about an "unattractive feature" of her arms. I stopped in my tracks. This is reason number one that all windows and doors must be shut if you don't desire anyone to overhear you. I of course had to go over what I had just heard and savor every second of it. I then invited myself in and had a good chat with said girls about what I had just heard. A very entertaining conversation. Differing opinions of course but a highly enjoyable conversation nonetheless.

One other thing too. Only hearing one side of a phone conversation can be incredibly funny. To the one on the phone, everything makes sense but everyone else who might be in earshot of said phonetalker. Who knows what kind of ideas we conjure up. I'm really okay with this.

Have a black and proud of it day

"I only cuddle you."
--Absherificon

Saying it loud!!

First item of business is that one years ago tomorrow this blog was from the inner bowels of uh...probably my spleen. I don't know. I did most of my thinking with said organ about this time a year ago. Don't worry, lately I've done most of my thinking with my thyroid as of late. And let me tell you, it's been a good switch. Except for the fact that my neck has been hurting ever since.

Quiz the man and stick it to him, suckers!!

So I found this quiz that I made up about myself about two years ago not long ago. Let's see how many you can get right?

Get to know your neighbors in Apt. 3.5
How well do you know Felipe Sanchez?
Yes, you will be graded however, our opinions will
not change about you if you answer the questions incorrectly.
So don’t you worry about a thing.
Please write your answers on a separate piece of paper
and hand them to Felipe for grading.



1. What was the name of the spider that lived in Felipe’s vent?

a) Harry
b) Sparky
c) Zero
d) Chucky

2. Felipe got a black eye from what?

a) A softball thrown by a girl
b) A kick in the face in a soccer game
c) A fight with his older bro
d) Falling out of a tree

3. His favorite band is Weezer, what is his favorite song?

a) Say it Ain’t So
b) Buddy Holly
c) The Good Life
d) In the Garage

4. Of the following items, which was he not cut by?

a) Pizza crust
b) Cheese grader
c) Pinecone
d) A can of tomato paste

5. His math teacher Ms. Shannon told him to shave what?

a) His armpits
b) His legs
c) His head
d) One eyebrow and half his mustache


6. What food did Felipe learn to like in the mission?

a) Asparagus
b) Mushrooms
c) Onions
d) Chayote

7. Felipe apparently cannot remember what experience?

a) Falling down the stairs at his friends house
b) His first high school soccer game
due to a concussion
c) Hitting his head on the kitchen counter
d) Hitting his head on an air conditioner

8. What was Felipe’s favorite card game in Middle School?

a) Hearts
b) Solitaire
c) Magic: The Gathering
d) Jyhad

9. What game was Felipe playing when he broke his finger at age 7?

a) Baseball
b) Wall-Ball
c) Football
d) Soccer

10. Felipe always wore a piece of tape on his right hand for track meets,
what did he say what that piece of tape was?

a) His nicotine patch
b) His steroid patch
c) His focus patch
d) Just, “The Patch”

11. While working at Skipper’s, there was rumor about him stating what?

a) He was an illegal alien
b) Secretly going out with a co-worker
c) Stealing Clams
d) That he was on crack



12. Felipe got caught trespassing what place causing him to
get a ride home from the cops?

a) The local swimming pool
b) The movie theater
c) City Hall
d) The Armory

13. What was Felipe’s fastest 400m time ever?

a) 51.25 sec. FAT
b) 51.89 sec. FAT
c) 50.90 sec. HT
d) 51.10 sec. HT

14. How much did Felipe weigh when he was born?

a) 5 lbs. 10 oz.
b) 6 lbs. 4 oz.
c) 7 lbs. 8 oz.
d) 9 lbs. 0 oz.

15. Felipe was born Sep. 3, 1981 but at what time of day?

a) 11:45pm
b) 5:26am
c) 11:03am
d) 3:32pm

16. What name does he want to give his first son?

a) Andrew
b) Fidel
c) John
d) Rey

17. As a kid, Felipe wanted to be a what when he grew up? (If that ever happens)

a) Fireman
b) G.I. Joe
c) Spaceman
d) Stallion

18. These are the letters of his two middle names. Spell them.
TOiinartvrsiqluonneon. (hint: spell them is not the correct answer)


Um...
C:\>good luck_

I won pre-owned footwear and two bodies

"Way to go boys, you're playing yesterdays tape."
--Phil Conners, Groundhogs Day

I gave birth to a tennis ball

First of all, I would like to apologize to those people who had to repeat yesterday several hundred thousand times just to make it to today. Hope you all got it taken care of. The there was that blinking green light driving down University Pkwy. I think it was trying to tell me that I should give the bayou some respect. I drove by and completely disregarded it for your information. That's what I thought!

Then there was that time where we had a Happy Pirate show that stayed on schedule. Spared no expense making fun of the first half host one Dr. Jones. That was fun. I think every word for Spelling Bee was made up. Acronyms were created and Vladimir has probably already taken over Utah county and Michigan. 'Bout time. And I am Sheryl Crows favorite mistake.

As a second time host to a show and a forever time amateur of the improv comedy, one is bound to learn something. Of course it took Dr. Jones and I about a year and a half to learn that one something. We did some experimenting. We discovered that we only lost a small percentage of audience this time around. I'm actually getting the hang of some of this stuff. At least I'm learning something. Another valuable lesson: some of us should never impersonate JHVO. In fact, most of us won't be able to do him justice. "Bing!!"

ranting and listening to I sleep in sacks of mint

I was talking to S who can longer stand her roommates A-D. I was also told how S went on horrible date E who had to pick up brother F on said date with friend G with potential beau H. I then discovered I haven't really done activity L since Dec. J but that's okay since having talked to man K about subjects P and Q but I still want to see persons A, M, N and now I think person O is out of her gord. Then I did have a good small talk with friend R and her friend T who's not caught up on subject U. I'm weirded out.

final thought: A tribute to the man who has saved my life many a time and has made the Happy Pirates rich in racial goodness. Ah yeah!!