Dream A Dream

"You can thank my dental hygienist for our untimely aliveness."
--The Tick

I don't see how I could have missed this


I had this dream maybe thrice. It is one of the few dreams that I actually remember. Why? Two reasons: first, it's weirder than anything that TAITO ever came out with. Witness -->

Second, it's also one of the funniest things my brain has ever come up with. The probablem [problem and probably somehow fit together] is that I was asleep when I came up with this.

Here it goes. For some reason I'm contracted for the mob. I don't why and what for, I just am. Because I remember being in some tall building is some huge city. Let's say, Orland Park, just west of Chicago [I generally try to avoid downtown]. I probably work for myself because of my awesome ability to fly. But with this awesome ability to fly, I also spurt the equivalent of Tinker Bell dust all over the freaking place. I'm just in normal late 90's get-up and this gold dust is falling everywhere. And so on.


Along this notion that I work for myself is that the mob sends two hitmen after me. And they're both dressed up like Boba Fett. Plus they fly too! So here I am minding my own business when the two Boba Fett characters jump me. They jumped me!! Can you believe it? There was this awesome mid-flight battle that raged across the night sky. Turns out they give a pretty mean battle. However it was my wits in the end that saved me. I beat them in with their own helmets. Maybe wits was the wrong word. I think I'll use ethos. Beyond that I don't remember much.

That's pretty much the coolest dream I've ever had.

Conversation that I missed with my mom

"Because I came out butt first."
--Sally, who is about to explode

Along with the rest of us

Sally told me I was a C-Section. Yup. Such a good conversation.

Yom Kippur

"Also on the tenth day of this seventh month there shall be a day of atonement: it shall be an holy convocation unto you; and ye shall afflict your souls, and offer an offering made by fire unto the LORD."
--Leviticus 23:27, KJV

Tradition

I'm glad for this time. It is something that brings us together. We wear ties. We have ties to share to help others celebrate with us. We have a few IBC's. We as friends do what we do best, make each other feel good inside. Look back on the good times and plan for more. This is not my holiday but it is something I can use to better myself. Which is good for me.

This is a day of forgiveness. Now that I've take a few minutes to consider some of the meaning I can apply something good to me. I can forgive. Others. I know that generally we don't mean to hurt others but it happens every now and again. Looking past others faults will help heal the bonds I have with other souls. Myself. I'm really hard on myself a lot. Like I've said before, I need change. And how can I change and let go of the old stuff unless I forgive myself. I think I'm good for right now.

Not my game

"You have to have the hashbrowns if you want your cash back over easy."
--Amber M.

And I will play it

I just discovered this: People have always played my game. When I say people, I mean girls. It has always been my game. I haven't really played anything else. Nor have I really tried I think. And that is where I have problems I do believe. One game cannot be played by both. If either game trumps the other, there is no solid foundation in which things can be kept alive. Maybe both games have to converge and be edited so that lifelong play can be achieved.

Come to think of it, my game is really scary. It might be the mystery involved. Maybe the mystery is what makes it intriguing. But the unknown is rather difficult to face. And that I think is what I want to do. And I think that is also what I need to do. Do I know how to work anothers' game? Probably not. But as I am interested, I'm going to darn well try. I haven't before, so I need to start.

I've been saying that I need change so now is a good time to get things going. I have a few ideas up my sleeve. They will get used. Now is the time. Am I freaking out? Of course! Scared out of my mind? Absolutely! Am I willing to risk 100%. Heck yes! So, we'll see what happens.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

Matrix

"It looks like you're going to walk into a gay bar."
--DT

The red pill or the blue pill

This is my system. I have yet to get away from it. Not that I don't like it when it works. And yet somehow, it showed up again and I was really okay with it.

So I just let things happen. I'm good at that. Then I rediscovered that I do need to make things happen. Okay, so I'm kind of retracting and/or restating some parts of my last post here. Because I pushed my luck. Now I realize that one should make things happen. The whole give and take thing. I'm still working on this. Gotta let some things happen while making other things come to pass.

As for my soul. It is safe and sound in the Moleskine. I cannot express what having my soul back means. Ever since I got it back, good things have happened. I'm okay with this. Please take luck.

Welcome to my world

"I dunno, I've always found your version and my version of hot girls to be different."
--Krista

It also includes a lot of mumbling

Had a very good chat with my very good friend. There was connection. What happens to us is never really expected. Things just kind of happen. Especially with relationships. I myself, am someone who just lets things happen. In my opinion, there's really not much else you can do. Kind of. -ish. well... You know the whole act, react thing, yeah.

This is how I work: I make the best of what's given me. Hence, I just let things run their course. Other people try to make things happen. But I think that really doesn't do as much as many thinks it does. You make things happen which may or may not lead to other things happening of which you have to let happen. There is always something else that leads another thing which has to be dealt with. Then with that, you do other things thinking they're leading this way but they're really not. Then something else happens and you're like 'What the crap?'. And sometimes we give up on some of these and something else appears, while elsewhere disappears while project C reappears. Follow?

Mom and Dad, how did you make it work? I think I'll just let things run their course if you don't mind.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

How long?

"I know, I know, it's just a childish fear, grows and grows right in the middle of me."
--Twistinside, Everclear

...

Well, I got my soul back. But at what price?

The Ghost of Meals Present

"So the french said 'our language is so cool, we'll make more of it'"
--Jim Meaders

Language Arts

This is how it goes. Like many of you know, I can do a number on the spanish language or in other words; I am rather fluent in said language. Also, I work at the BCF where I have many opportunities to speak it. Adding, having worked awhile in the department store scene, I have lost a lot of respect towards the human public. I have recently come to the point that I do not like speaking spanish to those who can't speak english. I believe my words were "I will not patronize your inability to speak english". My reasoning is thus following: If you live in an area where the majority of the people speak a certain language, then one should at least try their darndest in to speak in said language. The United States, though not having an official language, has all of its more important documents in english. Hence, this is what we call official language de facto.

It seems to me sometimes [not always though] that these people seek out those who speak spanish for translation purposes so they don't have to speak english. And this is where I just want them to learn english. I'm thinking, it's their prerogitive to learn said english if they live here. My other thought is that I went to Mexico and I learned spanish, why can't you do the same for me?

I know that this isn't really all that fair. When it comes down to it, I can't tell the difference between a tourist and someone who has just moved here. I don't know how long some of these people have been here. I know that many of these people haven't had a formal education of a second language. Some haven't had the level of opportunities as others. I have my assumptions which is really draws me back I think. A co-worker pointed this out to me. A lot of people really, truly try. However, I think I'm still biased.

Culture

Minor discovery or realization. Language is a basis of a culture. What you say, how you say it and who you say it to greatly affects the actions, attitudes, emotions, motions, thinking and zeal of a community. Generalizations can be made at any level. Country, state, province, county, city, community, suburb, apartment complex even household. The general populace of a certain area can be very different from a block away. This is how people define themselves. A common language is developed throughout the community. This language is much more than spoken. It is what the community is. Thriving subcultures anywhere in the world. Formed and dissimilated everyday. Some lasting for years and others only for days. Some people wanting to change theirs. Others never wanting to leave the one that's left them. The evolution of language. The evolution of culture.

We basically know what we want. We find ways to make things happen. Will do whatever it takes to keep things the way they were or not. I am not who I was 6 months ago. I'm glad.

The Ghost of Meals Past

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."
--Charlie Chaplin

Revenge? Back with a vengence? Well beaten path indeed.

I did a bad thing. Went and read a few posts of a certain blogspot last night. I don't know why really. I think I was looking for pain. I was also curious as I often am. Then I realized a few things. Last of which was the realization that I should have written down the previous realizings in the Moleskine before drifting off to weary slumber. And believe you me, it was weary.

Along this note, though I've known this for a while: Revenge. Having been played like "Kid" Gleason, manager of the 1919 Chicago White Sox. Thorough and utter destruction. Give nothing. Find the moment to cause the most pain in public. Let everyone know what you did. This I will never do. Probably for good reason. This is what I will do; nothing that will cause this person to hate me. They can not, will not have a reason. That's all I got.

Next on the list the fact I'm on my on doing things the conventional way when it comes to socialism. I may do it like everyone else who is doing it. Meaning, those who are doing it, though not many because most of us are nobks, I'm going to be like them. My presence will be known. I'm meeting the new peoples and talking and all that jazz. None of this comfort zone crap. I am out to cause a ruckus. My plan is to be myself. I am at my best when I am myself. I didn't move to the place I'm at now to hang out with old friends. Nothing against old friends; I'm out to let more people know who I am. I am Felipe!

The Ghost of Meals to Come

"I am available until 4:00 Tuesday."
--Brian F.

Ready or not

First of all, yesterday was the commemoration of the day of my birth. Not bad. Generally I'm not one to patronize my birthday but if anyone asks I will tell. Nothing more. No bash or anything like that. Just good times with friends old and new.

Here I am in a new place, a new ward. Here I am beginning the new life of me. Here I am trying seperating my dependency on the old and integrating with the new. Here I am trying to be me and hoping I don't freak anyone out. Here I am. Wow.

If I haven't mentioned, I dig the new digs. Finally got some roommates. Still have a room to myself until an already purchased contract is again sold. Still need to hook up some electronics but all is good. Still debating about adding more music to the collection. However, "Rock, rock on" will probably get the most play anyway. Not all my stuff is transfered over. Need to figure out what to do with the other stereo and one TV. Thought the latter is being made well use of.

As for people, many things going on. I didn't stop by the old complex for a week. Some of the cats were on Flops' withdrawals. So they say. We had nice little chats. I had a dinner party with another good friend. How I am still friends with some of these people amazes me most everyday. Old roommate is doing alright. Very good friend should probably be coming in today. She called last night and I missed it. Sad day. My bro-in-law's little sister scored me some SpongeBob cupcakes. Another girl scored me some cake for the day of birth. Ooh.... And I helped move her stuff into her apartment. Meeting new people with style. Having a good time all around. And there's the traditional making fun of the third roommate. We have fun.

Just need to get things done now. Looking up and forward. And please go do good things.