29 September 2006

Matrix

"It looks like you're going to walk into a gay bar."
--DT


The red pill or the blue pill

This is my system. I have yet to get away from it. Not that I don't like it when it works. And yet somehow, it showed up again and I was really okay with it.

So I just let things happen. I'm good at that. Then I rediscovered that I do need to make things happen. Okay, so I'm kind of retracting and/or restating some parts of my last post here. Because I pushed my luck. Now I realize that one should make things happen. The whole give and take thing. I'm still working on this. Gotta let some things happen while making other things come to pass.

As for my soul. It is safe and sound in the Moleskine. I cannot express what having my soul back means. Ever since I got it back, good things have happened. I'm okay with this. Please take luck.

24 September 2006

Welcome to my world

"I dunno, I've always found your version and my version of hot girls to be different."
--Krista


It also includes a lot of mumbling

Had a very good chat with my very good friend. There was connection. What happens to us is never really expected. Things just kind of happen. Especially with relationships. I myself, am someone who just lets things happen. In my opinion, there's really not much else you can do. Kind of. -ish. well... You know the whole act, react thing, yeah.

This is how I work: I make the best of what's given me. Hence, I just let things run their course. Other people try to make things happen. But I think that really doesn't do as much as many thinks it does. You make things happen which may or may not lead to other things happening of which you have to let happen. There is always something else that leads another thing which has to be dealt with. Then with that, you do other things thinking they're leading this way but they're really not. Then something else happens and you're like 'What the crap?'. And sometimes we give up on some of these and something else appears, while elsewhere disappears while project C reappears. Follow?

Mom and Dad, how did you make it work? I think I'll just let things run their course if you don't mind.

C:\>Good_Luck.exe_

22 September 2006

How long?

"I know, I know, it's just a childish fear, grows and grows right in the middle of me."
--Twistinside, Everclear


...

Well, I got my soul back. But at what price?

19 September 2006

The Ghost of Meals Present

"So the french said 'our language is so cool, we'll make more of it'"
--Jim Meaders


Language Arts

This is how it goes. Like many of you know, I can do a number on the spanish language or in other words; I am rather fluent in said language. Also, I work at the BCF where I have many opportunities to speak it. Adding, having worked awhile in the department store scene, I have lost a lot of respect towards the human public. I have recently come to the point that I do not like speaking spanish to those who can't speak english. I believe my words were "I will not patronize your inability to speak english". My reasoning is thus following: If you live in an area where the majority of the people speak a certain language, then one should at least try their darndest in to speak in said language. The United States, though not having an official language, has all of its more important documents in english. Hence, this is what we call official language de facto.

It seems to me sometimes [not always though] that these people seek out those who speak spanish for translation purposes so they don't have to speak english. And this is where I just want them to learn english. I'm thinking, it's their prerogitive to learn said english if they live here. My other thought is that I went to Mexico and I learned spanish, why can't you do the same for me?

I know that this isn't really all that fair. When it comes down to it, I can't tell the difference between a tourist and someone who has just moved here. I don't know how long some of these people have been here. I know that many of these people haven't had a formal education of a second language. Some haven't had the level of opportunities as others. I have my assumptions which is really draws me back I think. A co-worker pointed this out to me. A lot of people really, truly try. However, I think I'm still biased.

Culture

Minor discovery or realization. Language is a basis of a culture. What you say, how you say it and who you say it to greatly affects the actions, attitudes, emotions, motions, thinking and zeal of a community. Generalizations can be made at any level. Country, state, province, county, city, community, suburb, apartment complex even household. The general populace of a certain area can be very different from a block away. This is how people define themselves. A common language is developed throughout the community. This language is much more than spoken. It is what the community is. Thriving subcultures anywhere in the world. Formed and dissimilated everyday. Some lasting for years and others only for days. Some people wanting to change theirs. Others never wanting to leave the one that's left them. The evolution of language. The evolution of culture.

We basically know what we want. We find ways to make things happen. Will do whatever it takes to keep things the way they were or not. I am not who I was 6 months ago. I'm glad.

07 September 2006

The Ghost of Meals Past

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."
--Charlie Chaplin


Revenge? Back with a vengence? Well beaten path indeed.

I did a bad thing. Went and read a few posts of a certain blogspot last night. I don't know why really. I think I was looking for pain. I was also curious as I often am. Then I realized a few things. Last of which was the realization that I should have written down the previous realizings in the Moleskine before drifting off to weary slumber. And believe you me, it was weary.

Along this note, though I've known this for a while: Revenge. Having been played like "Kid" Gleason, manager of the 1919 Chicago White Sox. Thorough and utter destruction. Give nothing. Find the moment to cause the most pain in public. Let everyone know what you did. This I will never do. Probably for good reason. This is what I will do; nothing that will cause this person to hate me. They can not, will not have a reason. That's all I got.

Next on the list the fact I'm on my on doing things the conventional way when it comes to socialism. I may do it like everyone else who is doing it. Meaning, those who are doing it, though not many because most of us are nobks, I'm going to be like them. My presence will be known. I'm meeting the new peoples and talking and all that jazz. None of this comfort zone crap. I am out to cause a ruckus. My plan is to be myself. I am at my best when I am myself. I didn't move to the place I'm at now to hang out with old friends. Nothing against old friends; I'm out to let more people know who I am. I am Felipe!

04 September 2006

The Ghost of Meals to Come

"I am available until 4:00 Tuesday."
--Brian F.


Ready or not

First of all, yesterday was the commemoration of the day of my birth. Not bad. Generally I'm not one to patronize my birthday but if anyone asks I will tell. Nothing more. No bash or anything like that. Just good times with friends old and new.

Here I am in a new place, a new ward. Here I am beginning the new life of me. Here I am trying seperating my dependency on the old and integrating with the new. Here I am trying to be me and hoping I don't freak anyone out. Here I am. Wow.

If I haven't mentioned, I dig the new digs. Finally got some roommates. Still have a room to myself until an already purchased contract is again sold. Still need to hook up some electronics but all is good. Still debating about adding more music to the collection. However, "Rock, rock on" will probably get the most play anyway. Not all my stuff is transfered over. Need to figure out what to do with the other stereo and one TV. Thought the latter is being made well use of.

As for people, many things going on. I didn't stop by the old complex for a week. Some of the cats were on Flops' withdrawals. So they say. We had nice little chats. I had a dinner party with another good friend. How I am still friends with some of these people amazes me most everyday. Old roommate is doing alright. Very good friend should probably be coming in today. She called last night and I missed it. Sad day. My bro-in-law's little sister scored me some SpongeBob cupcakes. Another girl scored me some cake for the day of birth. Ooh.... And I helped move her stuff into her apartment. Meeting new people with style. Having a good time all around. And there's the traditional making fun of the third roommate. We have fun.

Just need to get things done now. Looking up and forward. And please go do good things.