Pirate or Hobo?
"I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul"
--Pirates who don't do anything, Veggie Tales
Which would you rather be
So, it takes about a week of not shaving for me to have enough facial hair so that I start looking like a hobo. Even more so if I don't shower or wash my clothes. But the beard-ish thing that I get going on makes me feel really dirty sometimes. Then I got to thinking, pirates had pretty gross beards too! That's exciting!! Hobos are almost like pirates in the beard sense.
Then I got to thinking what are the cool points of being either a hobo or a pirate. Hobos are homeless, excellent at being creepy, got mad scavenging skills, can do a makeshift home in less than twenty minutes, have stomachs made of awesome metals like iron or californium, great drug users, incredible tool makers and have an inate sense of direction.
Pirates on the other hand are seaworthy, skilled in cutlass, guns, compass handling, excellent Zelda gamers, mostly he-man woman haters, have cool pirate jargon [like "aye" or "arrgghhhh!!"], well versed in thievery and scandal, awesome use of missing appendages and they have an endless supply of rum.
All in all I think pirates are cooler but I have been on this hobo kick. As we all know, there are pirates and hobos with the collective IQ of a Nine Inch Nails poster. But they both have amazing potential. Huge money is to be made in entertainment alone. Especially if you can grow a beard. Here's to your facial hair!!
5 comments:
So if pirates hate ninjas, who do hobos hate? I think it's "everybody" but I could be wrong.
I think hobos have better survival skills. I mean, pirates have to risk life and prosthetic limb to get stuff, but hobos just have to sit there. That's how afraid people are of them. People will give hobos stuff just to prevent a hobo uprising.
if i could grow facial hair i'd be going for the hobo thing. being stuck on a boat for who knows how long gets me feeling a little claustrophobic and cabin feverish.
I support facial hair so much.
I don't like the whole facial hair thing, but my hubby has sensitive skin and hates to shave. He'd be thinking about a side on this debate. I on the other hand like neither (unless you can do the 'cabin fever' song from muppet treasure island).
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