Almost as good as a handlebar mustache...

"Tan fat looks better than white fat."
--BCF customer

...okay, probably better


Five Movies You Can Watch Over and Over:
1. Ghostbusters
2. Clue
3. Private Eyes
4. Oscar
5. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Five embarrassing Songs that You Know All the Words To:
1. Race Car Ya-Yas by Cake
2. Wild Wild West by Escape Club
3. Territorial Pissings by Nirvana [not hard, it's mostly screaming]
4. Just a Girl by No Doubt
5. We Will Become Silhouettes by Postal Service

Five Memorable Halloween Costumes:
1. Clown [age young]
2. Puppy [age younger]
3. Luigi [age 8]
4. Secret Service [age 23]
5. Jawa [ages 16 and 24]

Five Celebrities You Believe May Secretly be Alien:
1. Tim Curry
2. Charlton Heston
3. Pauly Shore
4. Fred Savage
5. Jeff Goldblum

Five Occupations that You Know You Could Never Do:
1. Social Worker
2. Student Counselor
3. Mortician [I'm creepy enough already]
4. Christopher Walken
5. Hunter Gatherer

Five Books You've Recently Read Outside of Schoolwork:
1. Lost World by Michael Crichton
2. High School yearbook [probably not a good idea, those people are still on crack]
3. Filthy Potter 6
4. Instruction Manual to my microphone
5. Various words of Various prophets slash apostles

Five Ways to Perfectly Spend an Afternoon:
1. Playing improv games with buddies/friends
2. Making or editing videos/movies
3. Goofing off with great friend/s
4. Napping in a hammock
5. You suggest something

Five Lines You Blatantly Stole From a Movie, TV, a Commercial, or Song:
1. "Good Work."--Whistler, Sneakers
2. "Yes it's true..."--Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
3. "Pbthbht"--Mrs. White, Clue
4. "...a treasure trove of linguistic anamolies."--Dr. Poole, Oscar
5. "Stay on target! Stay on Target!"--X-winger, A New Hope

Not Your 5 Favorite Foods, But the 5 You're Most Likely Eating:
1. Hamburger Helper
2. Quesadillas with the best cheese ever
3. Take 5
4. Doritos
5. Hot Pockets

5 People who should do this:
1. Doctor Jones
2. Doctress Jones
3. Several Almonds
4. Probes
5. Sly Stallone