You probably don't want to read this

"But the problem is that she has morals."
--Brando

If you want to learn...

Now, to tell you the truth, I can hock a loogie. By the way, this post comes up thanks to one miss L'Afro who stated that can't do distance with a loogie. I can. So, this post is to teach you how. If you don't want to learn, that's okay. I don't blame you. But I say it is quite satisfying to let loose of all mannerisms and let one fly across the way.

First of all, you need some amount of phlegm. No questions. If all you got is saliva, you're screwed. Substance adds the mass you need for aerodynamics and power to cut through wind. No substance means big time mess. Do not spit against the wind. That's bad. Getting the phlegm you ask? Well, you know that part in the back of your mouth? No, too low, that's your uvula. Yeah, right there! It comes from there. Be creative on your abilities to coax that stuff out. Good work.

Second, placement of substance prior to actual ejection from mouth. This is actually very important. Imagine, you have substance. Now pull the tip of your tongue down and back to where the substance is between your tongue and gums below the teeth. This allows for the necessary power for distance. Placed anywhere else and you've got resistance. And that can be fatal to a distance competition.

In between second and third is the formation of the mouth when it is time to let fly. Your lips pretty much have to be pursed. And this is the best way to describe the best formation of lips when it comes to the hocking of said loogie: you know that moment when you're pulling back from a kiss and you haven't let go yet, but your mouth is still open? That's the sweet tenderness. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of a good kiss or a good loogie, your time will come.

Third, take a deep breath and let it fly. Blow hard and force that substance out! Granted, it takes a bit of practice but with the basics, you'll have your own style. Those of you with manners and morals, it's all good. I tell you, there's something about just letting one out. No other satisfaction like it. I say at least try it once. Even if it for curiosity.