Mom, please gossip

"Jump back, I wanna kiss myself!!"--James Brown

My mom is good for a lot of things. Cooking, sewing, chewing me out when I mess up, providing shelter when I go home, purchasing suits and toys, loving up the grandkids when they come and like stuff. Of course the list can go on so why don't we take this little moment appreciate the good mothers.

[waiting...] "ooh, oreo cheesecake!" [drooling ensues]

Okay, one other thing that my mom is rather good at is spreading information to all kinds of extended family and then some. Some of that stuff makes my face turn a slight blush color but if I want to spread news, I know who to go to. The only thing I need to do is supply information like possibly, hooking up with some amazing girl. Mom, you're generally all over that. I know that you don't mind me having a girlfriend with how many girls you suggest. We've discussed this before, ahem....

Mom-"How about Ori?"

Me-"She's cool and all, but, eh."

Mom-"Why don't you go out with one of the Westenskow twins!"

Me-"Probably not going to happen."

Mom-"Retard Bedard?"

Me-"I don't see anything happening"

Mom-"What about *******?"

Me-"We would end up destroying each other's souls."

Mom-"What about Ori then?"

Side note; it took Ori getting married for mom to give up on that possibility. This is for you mom: I salute all you Waites!! Especially you Penelope!!

Now that I have a girlfriend [Matsugi, you are GREAT!!], I let you know mom and I have yet hear from immediate or extended family asking more in depth questions. This is odd. I provide the girlfriend and you provide the means of communicating to everyone. Hmm...This needs to get fixed. I'll see what I can do about spreading information but I already know who's good at that. Well, I must do my own thing. Mom, I'm going to give you the go ahead to gossip like nobody's business.