30 November 2006

another possible routine

"Have you ever been demonically possessed?"
--A. Gaskill


tell me what you think

I'm still working on this even though it will probaly never happen [i.e. me be a comedian/funnyman]. However, I did enjoy playing around this idea for a stand up of some sorts.

ahem...

1. Let's take a brief look at some of the fast food commercials over the recent years/months. We got the McDonald's that generally advertises that it's open early [5am-ish], it's all over the breakfast and you get your morning coffee. Next is Burger King. The Burger King you often see the King and Mr. Angus. Following is Taco Bell. Advertises to the late nighter and I need remind you that the Chalupa or Gordita is Mexican. At least, not the Mexico I know. Wendy's. Another late nighter, this time 'till 1am. Carl's Jr. is also on this list with the chicken and the cow and some other weird stuff. And we will then finish with Arby's who finally did away with the oven mitt which will be discussed.

Now with those reminders let us imagine these commercial entities as people. Honest to goodness real people. What kind of people would they be?

Picture your McDonald's man. He would be your business man type dad. Up early, slightly uptight, on time and kind of snappy. You would see him with a never end cup of decaf [I mean come on, he's got to slow down]. And at the end of the night his eye is still twitching.

Wendy's? She'd be your college age sister who still lives at home. She's always out late. You know, the party type. Why doesn't she move out? I have no clue.

Carl's Jr? Ah, Carl. Junior to his close buddies. He's your freaking cool neighbor with the HUGE entertainment system. I mean, this thing is massive. He's great and fun but, if you spend too much time with the man you'll probably develop epillepsy.

Arby's? She's your hippie cousin named Freedom. Age 26. Just went through a mid-life crisis. Thrice. This week she's veagan.

Burger King is something else. He's your creepy Uncle Jerry. Though he's hilarious, he gives everyone the willies. Especially when you wake up at 6:57am with him in your face singing "You make me feel like a natural woman" while playing the spoons. Eh.....I'm going to take a shower.

Then we have the Taco Bell. He's your neighborhood ethnic kid. Raúl Constantino Hernández Fuentes. His mom is an illegal alien but he was born in Pocatello, ID. He's got an insane amount of mexican pride though he's never been there. Oh and he kind of speaks spanish. Um, not really.

Well, there's your outline. Maybe I shouldn't play around with these ideas. At least I had fun while it lasted. Thanks.

3 comments:

LJ said...

*laughing*

*laughing*

I have a creepy Uncle Jerry. We call him UJ.

*laughing*

I don't know what you're on, but it makes you really funny.

Anonymous said...

This is pretty good stuff and you made me laugh.

:D

Anonymous said...

What about Jack-in-the-Box?

I must know.