12 November 2006

saying what's on my mind

"Let me put down my bag of rats."
--Janitor dude, Scrubs


this happens more when we're friends

I'm a big fan of this: saying aloud the ideas you have at the moment. I happen to do this a lot. Especially if I know you well and I like you. For those of you who know me well, isn't it true that I am more blunt and slightly off color. I'll lose all fear of saying whatever comes to mind. I think life is a lot funnier that way. Of course this turns me into a level 7 jerkface for doing so. For example:

Wednesday at work there is the linens manager Sarah who is all kinds of rad and she comes in wearing a red v-neck shirt, a black skirt and red sequined shoes like unto Dorothy of Oz. I mean, she looked pretty happening. The next day she comes in and I see her with a different set of clothes on to which I immediately say, "You know, you looked a lot saucier yesterday!" She hated me for the rest of the day. But we still had some good laughs, mostly because she got real snappy at me. Still, everyone at work knows that I'll say whatever.

So, it pretty much comes down to this, if I don't really know you, I'll probably keep my mouth shut. If I know you, I'll end up saying some pretty weird crap. No offense, I really mean no harm. And if you say something kind of at the level of what I said to Sarah, I'll more than likely laugh. A lot.

Another thing I discovered is that you can say something really foul and have it not really go against you. All you need to do is this, hold your tongue. Then you make faces and say something along these lines, "ooh, I just thought of something completely horrible/foul/five your mom jokes". This will get the listening party really, really curious of what just went through your mind. They'll ask that you say what you thought. You refuse. They'll say "ah, come on!" and they push the matter a little bit. Then you tell. Then they'll cringe and shudder. But they won't blame you and everything is a lot funnier. Believe me, it works.

4 comments:

Ben said...

It so works.

Anonymous said...

You see, it never works for me that way; I always think up seriously evil stuff, then don't want to say it. It's obvious when this has happened. But I have no substitutes, so when I say what I thought (under duress, I might add) I get really dirty looks.

If I just come out and say it to begin with, they roll their eyes and say "Oh, that MustacheBoy."

Unknown said...

your mom works.

i've heard of this legendary monkey cake, and i'm intrigued. we must find a way to facilitate some long-distance-monkey-cake-age.

Ben said...

Actually, Lanada, Felipe's mom is a stay-at-home, or a "domestic engineer".