Crap hits the fan

"I am vindicated, I am selfish, I am wrong,
I am right I swear I'm right,
Swear I knew it all along,
And I am flawed,
but I am cleaning up so well,
I am seeing in me now,
the things you swore you saw yourself."
--Vindicated, Dashboard Confessional

I hoped for a lot this week. I wanted so much. And yet again, the world has turned and left me here. I believe I have good intentions. I try hard when I find something I want. I am able to focus. Sure I'm not perfect but I'll take a good stab at it. Am I hoping for the wrong things? Should I have my focus elsewhere? What do I give in to? What do I resist? Why does everything have to come down all at once? I'm tired of this crap. I just want to slip away and just have the leaves in North Carolina just bury me! Bury Me!! I don't want to do your sleepwalk dance anymore, I just want to go to Summerland. Why is it that when I come to the rescue I get left behind? I can hear them talking in the real world but they don't understand. Don't fall down now you will never get up.

I want to be saved.